Middle Earth High
by Larien Calaelen
Summary: Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!
1. Food Fight!

Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High

Summary: Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

Disclaimer: No, sadly I don't own LOTR or any characters. Too bad...

**Chapter 1- Food Fight! **

"FOOD FIGHT!" Pippin yelled as he flung a spoonful of chili at his best friend Merry, who just barely avoided the makeshift missile by ducking. Almost instantly the shot was followed as Pippin was hit in the chest with a piece of overcooked broccoli. "Hey!" he yelled. "Who threw that?"

"Over here, Pip!" Merry yelled back, waving.

"Come back here!" he shouted, and jumped off the table on which he was standing and began to chase Merry all around the cafeteria.

* * *

Meanwhile, Legolas, Aragorn, Elladan, Elrohir, Éomer, Boromir, and Faramir were all busy trying to dodge the food being hurled around the cafeteria. "When I get my hands on Merry and Pippin," Legolas said, dodging food as he spoke, "they'll be dead meat!" Just as he finished his sentence, he saw Merry duck. He wasn't quick enough to avoid the flying chili, and got a spoonful of it right on his jacket. "Who- PIPPIN!" he yelled. "You little... Come back here!" 

"Go get 'em, Legolas!" Aragorn yelled, laughing at the funny sight along with the five others; Pippin chasing Merry, and a tall Legolas chasing a small, vertically-challenged Pippin.

"Faramir, what are you doing?" Boromir asked his brother, who was scooping up a spoonful of mashed potatoes and preparing to fire it.

"Ah, just getting in the spirit of things," Faramir said as he looked for a target.

"Mr. Gandalf's gonna kill you if he comes in here and sees..." Boromir reasoned.

"Well, I suppose that's a risk I'm gonna have to take." he replied. Faramir smiled as he spotted Sam Gamgee with his back turned. "The perfect target," he said. "Ready, aim, and fire!"

* * *

Arwen and Éowyn were doing their best to stay neutral in the fight. Hiding under a table, they tried to avoid the chaos. "If I get my new jeans dirty," Arwen said over all the noise, "My mom's gonna kill me!" After saying this, as if perfectly timed, a glop of macaroni and cheese landed just inches from the girls' feet. 

"Okay," Éowyn said as if going into battle, "I'm going in, so I can find a way out."

"Me too," Arwen said. "Can't stay under a table forever."

And so, hand in hand, the brave and courageous girls got up and greeted the battle of food head on. Bad idea. Almost immediately Éowyn saw Faramir fling a poorly-aimed spoonful of potatoes at Sam Gamgee's back, and the missed taters landed on her instead. "Aiiiiiii! FARAMIR!" she yelled and stormed over to him, Arwen close behind.

"Or risk getting your girlfriend mad," Boromir said to his brother. "Smooth move."

"Shut up, Boromir." Faramir said as he braced himself to face the storm heading toward him.

"Faramir!" she yelled. "My blouse! You got it dirty! Covered in potatoes no less!"

"Geez, sorry." Faramir said. "I was aiming for Sam."

"Yeah, sis, calm down." Éomer said.

Éowyn smiled. "Oh, don't worry; that's okay." she said, hugging Faramir.

"I knew you'd forgive me." he said.

"Gotcha!" Éowyn yelled as she pulled away, leaving Faramir covered in potatoes. "See ya, bye!" With that she strode off back to the hiding place, leaving him speechless.

"Once again, smooth move." Boromir said, having a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

"Once again, shut up." Faramir replied with an angry glare.

* * *

As Faramir had been riding out the storm with Éowyn, Arwen was doing the same with her brothers. "Come on, my sister!" Elladan said. 

"Yeah, Arwen, you are such a fun spoiler!" Elrohir, Elladan's twin brother complained.

"No, I just don't want Mom to kill me, like Dad will you if I tell him what you're doing!"

Arwen yelled.

"You wouldn't dare." Elrohir said.

"Oh, yes I would." Arwen said, hands on her hips.

"Tattletale!" Elladan yelled.

"Jerk!"

"Fun spoiler!"

"Idiot!"

"Don't make me use this." Elladan warned, holding up a spoon filled with mashed potatoes.

"You wouldn't dare." Arwen said.

"Oh, yes I would!" Elladan said, mimicking her sister from before. Arwen, at a loss for words, just stuck out her tongue.

"Arwen, we are so insulted." Elrohir said.

"Yep. Don't say we didn't warn you." Elladan said. And with that he pulled the mashed potato trigger, and the missile landed right smack in the middle of Arwen's forehead.

"I am going to kill you!" she yelled. "No, actually," she said, rethinking her plan, "I'll leave _that_ to Dad when we get home." And then she left to rejoin Éowyn at their hiding place.

"I think I would've liked it better if she'd killed us, brother." Elladan said as she left.

* * *

Mr. Gandalf entered the cafeteria and was greeted by a horrific sight; food flying everywhere, screaming students, and students chasing students around. A glob of spinach just barely missed his head. As he dodged it, he discovered the two culprits behind the whole scene, running about the cafeteria. _Merry and Pippin_, he thought.

Legolas stopped in his tracks just as he got on Pippin's heels, seeing Mr. Gandalf straight in front of him. Pippin, not noticing, looked back, still running, and yelled, "Ha ha Legolas! Looks like I- ahh!" Pippin, not watching where he was going, managed to slip on a puddle of spilled milk. He went sliding across the floor, and landed just next to Merry at Mr. Grey's feet, with the whole cafeteria crowd watching nonetheless. All became silent. "Ooops. I guess we're in trouble, huh?" Pippin asked as he looked up at Mr. Gandalf.

"Indeed. You two, come with me." he told them. "And the _rest_ of you," he said, referring to the other students in the cafeteria, grab a mop and get this place cleaned up immediately!" And with that he strode off, Merry and Pippin expected to follow.

"At least we don't have to clean up, Pip." Merry whispered as they scurried out the door.

* * *

Legolas returned to the group as Éowyn and Arwen came back from their hiding place under the table. "Looks like Pippin never learned the expression 'Pride goes before a fall,'" he said. 

"Looks like you've _just_ learned not to wear a brand new jacket to the cafeteria when Merry and Pippin are there," said Aragorn, laughing at the chili-stained jacket.

"Oh, shut up." Legolas said, grabbing some of the remaining chili from his jacket and smearing it on Aragorn's shirt. "There, we match." The group laughed, and then went to retrieve their mops to clean up.

**A/N: **Ta-da! And that is my very first chapter of "Middle Earth High." I tried to include most characters, but don't worry; there will be some more of our favorite hobbits in the next chapter. Oh by the way, I put all the characters in the same grade, even though the ages are really so far apart, but that's the way it would make the most sense. Hope everyone liked it! Please review!


	2. Punishment

Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High

Summary: Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own LOTR.

**Chapter 2- Punishment **

"Now, Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck, do you know why you're in here?" Gandalf asked the two troublemakers once they were secluded from others.

_Uh oh_, Merry thought, _he called us by our full names! We must be in big trouble._

"Ummm..." Pippin merely said, unsure of how to respond.

"We, uh, slipped on some milk, and that is really a serious offense in the cafeteria, but, we didn't really mean to, because we weren't watching, but we won't do it again, Mr. Gandalf, uh, sir..." Merry stuttered out his mediocre excuse, trying to get out of trouble.

"Both of you are incorrect, especially you, Pippin." Gandalf said. "You are in here for initiating a food- actually; I'll just read the list off. For initiating a food fight, disruptive behavior, cafeteria misbehavior, littering, and throwing food or trash. Any questions?"

"Yes," Pippin said raising his hand, "what's all that mean?"

"Don't you pay attention in English class?" Gandalf asked him.

"Sometimes." Pippin replied.

Gandalf sighed. "Hmm, I will have to talk with Denethor about that. Look the words up in the dictionary."

"Okay." Pippin said, not wanting to argue. He took out a sheet of paper, and started copying down the offences.

"Oh, never mind." Gandalf said, grabbing the paper and tossing it in the recycling bin. "Anyways, let's talk of your punishment."

"Punishment?" Merry and Pippin said in unison.

"Yes," Gandalf said. "I won't be giving you a detention, but you will have to serve on lunch duty in the cafeteria for a month."

"A month?" they both cried again.

"Yes, a month. And you are lucky." Gandalf said. "You are now excused." The two began to walk out the door. "And if I ever see this again, know that you will be dealt with more severely."

"Yes sir." The both replied again simultaneously, and with that they were off to the dreaded class: English with Denethor.

**A/N: **Another chapter done! Gosh, I had to look through my own student handbook to find all of those violation terms. Poor Merry and Pippin, serving on lunch duty. Sorry about the short chapter. The next will be longer. Anyways, here's to the reviewers!

**GoldenFaielf: **Thanks for the review and the wonderful ideas! I will try to use them soon! Keep reading and reviewing!

**Lariencalaelen:** Okay, why am I giving myself a review? Oh yeah, my weird best friend Pamela was over at my house, read this story, and insisted on reviewing the story under my own penname. Pamela, you are so weird. Review me on your own computer!


	3. Story of the First Date

Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High

Summary: Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

Disclaimer: Who owns LOTR? Sadly, it all belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien! I weep in sorrow!

**Chapter 3- Story of the First Date **

"This isn't fair!" Elladan said as all the remaining students stayed cleaning up the cafeteria.

"It's fair for you! You helped make the mess, while Éowyn and I were innocently sitting under the table over there," Arwen said while gesturing over towards their hideout table with her mop.

"Innocently sitting over there? Just look at my shirt!" Faramir exclaimed.

"You deserved it," Éowyn said.

"Deserved it?" Faramir asked. "In what way did I deserve a shirt full of potatoes?"

"And me? I got one too, you know." Éowyn quipped.

"It was an accident!" Faramir argued.

"How cute, the matching potato couple," Boromir said.

"Shut up, Boromir!" they both yelled at the same time.

"Okay, okay, break it up." Legolas said, coming back with a bucket of soapy water and a mop.

"Hey Legolas, Boromir got a new record; he's been told to shut up 3 times already." Aragorn told him.

"Already? Gee, did I miss a lot..." Legolas said sarcastically.

"And we haven't even gotten to Denethor's class yet." Elrohir said.

"Oooo, Denethor's class. No offense guys, but I don't think that your dad was meant to be in the teaching business. _Really not meant_ to be in the teaching business." Éomer said to Boromir and Faramir, shuddering at the thought of Denethor's dreaded English class.

"Try living with him..." Faramir grumbled.

"Yeah," Éowyn said, "remember our first date last year, Faramir?"

"I'd rather not..." he said.

"So, it was a warm night last year in the 9th grade..." Éowyn began...

**Ding dong! The doorbell rang, and Faramir went to open it. _Must be my date_, the 9th grader thought nervously as he checked himself over in the mirror. The bell rang again. **

"**Faramir! Get the door!" Boromir called from upstairs. **

"**Yes, Faramir, get the door, it's irritating your brother." Faramir's father, Denethor, called. **

"**Yes, Father." Faramir said as the bell rang a third time. **

"**The door, Faramir!" Denethor yelled as Faramir scurried to get it. **

"**Alright, alright, I'm coming!" he called. **

* * *

"**Let's see, 15531, 15533, aha, here it is! 15535, Minas Tirith Avenue." Éowyn said as she looked for the right house. She walked up nervously to the front and rang the doorbell. She looked around the front yard. It was a nice house, with bushes and flowers cut to precision. _Hmm, nice flowers_, she thought. She listened to the noise coming from inside the house. "The door, Faramir!" she heard. _Must be his, err, father_, she thought. **

**Faramir opened the door to find Éowyn standing there. "Éowyn," he said, "come on in!" She stepped inside, and saw what had to be Faramir's father standing there next to the boy. "Father, this is Éowyn. Éowyn, this is, uh, my father," he said, nervously glancing over at his father. **

**Éowyn finally broke the awkward silence by holding out her hand and saying, "Pleased to meet you," to Faramir's father. **

"**The same," he replied while shaking her hand. **

"**So," Faramir said, changing the subject, "Would you like anything to eat or drink before we go?" **

"**No thanks, I'm fine, Faramir." she replied. "We can get something at the movie anyways." **

"**Alright, let's go then," Faramir said as he led Éowyn back to the door. **

"**Hold on, Faramir," Denethor said as they walked to the door. **

"**Yes, Father?" Faramir said, annoyed. **

"**Do you remember what I told you?" Denethor asked his son. **

"**Yes, Father." Faramir sighed. He then rattled off a long list of rules his father had laid down for the night. "No drinking, no R or NC-17 rated movies, stay at the movie theater, call when we get there, don't talk to strangers, be careful crossing the street, don't go into any clubs, get home by 11:00, your cell phone number is 240-618-4783, the home number is 569-838-5674, and call 911 for emergencies. Can we go now?" He hoped he wouldn't have to go through this every time he had a date. **

"**Okay," Denethor said. "Have a good time." **

"**We sure will," Faramir muttered under his breath as he led Éowyn out the door. **

**Once they were outside, Éowyn asked the question that had had been in her mind for quite some time; "Why does your father have all those rules?" **

"**I don't think he trusts me very much." Faramir replied. "I think he likes Boromir better."  
**

"**That's not true," Éowyn said. "He was probably just looking out for you. My uncle gave me the whole first date 'be careful who you're making friends with' speech before I left. It was so annoying. We're just going out to a movie, and I've known you for quite a while." **

"**Yeah, adults can be like that," Faramir said, laughing. "Come on, let's grab a bus to the movie theater. **

**The two had a wonderful night, sharing popcorn and watching "Mutant Aliens from Outer Space." After that, they returned home on the _Ride On_ bus and walked the rest of the way to Faramir's house. **

"**I had a great night, Faramir." Éowyn said. **

"**So did I," Faramir said before he kissed her, unfortunately, right as Denethor opened the front door. **

"**Faramir! Get in here this instant!" he snapped. **

"**See, I was right." Faramir whispered as he was pulled inside. "Bye Éowyn!" **

"And that's where I don't want to go into any more detail," Faramir said. "Three hour lecture." He shuddered. "Hey Boromir, how come you never get in trouble?"

"I dunno," Boromir said. "It's like Dad likes me better or something!"

"Ya think?" Faramir said as he scrubbed mercilessly at a tomato stain on the table, as if it was his father whom he was taking his anger out on.

"Well, while you two have been telling us your lovely story, I think we've scrubbed this place clean," Aragorn said.

"Time to go to class," Legolas said unexcitedly.

"Ok, everyone," Éomer said in a dark, scary voice as they all gathered around, "Prepare yourself for the horrible, the dreaded, the awful-"

Everyone gasped in suspense. Lighting flashed outside and the wind blew. Terror filled every heart.

"English class."

**A/N: **Ahhh! It's English! Muahahahaha! Ok, in case no one realized, the bold print was for when Faramir and Éowyn were telling the others the story of their first date. Also, it says "the 9th grader..." I forgot to mention in previous chapters that at the time of the story, all the students are in 10th grade. Anyways, please review; it makes me happy. And when I'm happy, I like to write. And when I write, I post updates. So review already!

**j- **More? You got it!

**GoldenFaielf-** Antidisestablishmentarianism? Nice word. I will use it! The English idea is coming up next. The intro to the science project is coming up after that. Keep reading!


	4. English With Denethor

Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High

Summary: Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

Disclaimer: LOTR still doesn't belong to me!

**Chapter 4- English with Denethor **

As the bell rang, all the students in Middle Earth High took their places in Denethor's class. There were only about 15 students in Middle Earth High, making it easy for all the teachers, unless of course, they were the one teaching the class. _That_ was the time of day most teachers thought of as dread peril. Denethor immediately began taking role, for he always liked his class organized. "Aragorn?"

"Here!"

"Eowyn?"

"Here!"

"Of course you are. I'm so glad." Denethor grumbled sarcastically. "Pippin?"

"Presente, gracias!" Pippin said proudly.

"What? This isn't Spanish class, you numbskull." Denethor said. "We don't even have Spanish in this school! It's Elvish!" Denethor said.

"Oh, sorry." Pippin said, sad that he had studied all that Spanish for nothing.

This continued until all the students were accounted for, except "Boromir? Faramir? Hmmm, why are they missing?" Denethor wondered. "I bet Faramir's up to something. He's always a troublemaker. Éowyn!" he sharply said, turning to the girl. "Do you know of anything Faramir has been plotting, err, planning?"

"No, sir," Éowyn said.

"Ummm, Mr., uh, Denethor, sir? Maybe they are just running late." Frodo said.

"NO TALKING OUT OF TURN!" Denethor yelled.

"Oops," Frodo said quietly. "My bad."

A few seconds later, Faramir burst through the door. "Sorry I'm late, Dad!" he said panting for breath.

"Not in public, Faramir!" Denethor hissed at his son. "You're late. Why are you late? Explain yourself! You have wasted the class two precious minutes of learning time!"

"Precious?! Where's the precious?" Gollum stood up and shouted. Denethor glared at him, and he slunk back down in his seat. "Cursed, nasty man, we hates him..."

"Hates is not a word, Gollum. Use proper English! THIS IS ENGLISH CLASS! And stop referring to yourself in 2nd person plural! It's annoying! You are ONE person! GET A LIFE!" Denethor yelled.

"Ahem, yeah. Anyways, Miss Galadriel stopped me and told me about auditions for the play, _Romeo and Juliet_." Faramir explained.

"Oh, the play is coming up? When?" Éowyn and Legolas both asked. They had both been in the school plays in previous years along with Faramir.

"Never mind that! You are _late_, Faramir, nonetheless. Now, apologize to the class and take your seat," Denethor ordered.

"Sorry everybody," Faramir said as he walked to his seat. As he did so, he slipped two audition flyers onto the desks of Éowyn and Legolas. On the back of the paper, the two scribbled the words "Thank you," and held them up so Faramir could see. Faramir nodded and wrote "You're welcome," back.

After _that_, Boromir came burst in through the door in his turn, and began to take his seat. "Boromir! You're here! I was so worried! Where _have_ you been?" Denethor asked his son hastily.

"Ummm, in the bathroom," Boromir said.

"Well, you _are_ late," Denethor started, "but I suppose we can let it slip this time."

"Ok," Boromir replied perplexed as he took his seat.

"Hmph, no fair," Faramir grumbled.

"Okay, everyone's here, so we can finally start our lesson. Today we will be working on," he said as he rolled up the map on the blackboard, revealing a word and saying it. "Punctuation!" Denethor took his yardstick and pointed to the word. "Now," he said as he put down his yardstick and replaced it with a piece of chalk, "this is a comma," he said as he drew one on the board. "The comma is used to indicate a pause in the sentence. A comma is a type of punctuation. An example of usage of the comma is..." He droned on for what seemed like an eternity to the students. Random thoughts occupied the students' minds.

"_Ugh, will he ever stop talking? I know what a comma is! Oh well, time to practice for auditions. 'I'll look to like, if looking liking move: But no more deep will I endart mine eye, than your consent gives strength to make it fly.'"_ Éowyn thought as she rehearsed Juliet's lines for the play auditions.

Faramir was also practicing for Romeo. _"'If I profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand, to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.' Whoa! I hope Éowyn gets the part of Juliet! Aw man, what am I thinking? Anyways, 'Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?' What the heck? I hope that doesn't mean what I think it means..." _

"_Hmm, I'll let Faramir try out for Romeo; I don't want all those lines. Hmmm, here we go, I can play Friar Laurance. 'Hark, how they knock! Who's there? Romeo, arise; Thou wilt be taken. Stay awhile! Stand up; Run to my study. By and by! God's will, What simpleness is this! I come, I come!' What weird language. Does Miss Galadriel expect us to memorize all this?" _Legolas wondered as he practiced lines.

"_The precious, must have it, must get it, where is it?"_ Gollum pondered.

"_I can't believe we have to serve on lunch duty! That's even worse than detention!" _Merry and Pippin both thought.

"_Ahhh, this is sooooooooooooooooooooo boring! Can't he leave us alone? I can't wait 'til glee club starts!" _Frodo and Sam thought in agony.

"_Hey it's Sam, I hope he asks me to the Spring Dance..." _Rosie Cotton thought.

"_Oooh, Arwen looks pretty today. Maybe I should ask her to the Spring Dance..." _Aragorn thought as he dreamily stared at the girl.

"_Aragorn is staring at me. Oh well, he's so cute! Maybe he'll ask me to the Spring Dance..." _Arwen thought.

"_I hate this class, I hate this class, I hate this class, I hate this class, I hate this class, I hate this class, I hate this class, I hate this class, I hate this class, I hate this class..." _Éomer thought sitting on the edge of his seat twitching his foot like he did when he was bored.

Elladan and Elrohir were engulfed in a game of Thumb War in the back of the classroom.

"_Let's see, aha! A person!" _Boromir thought as he was playing visual Connect-the-Dots with the freckles on the back of Éowyn's neck. He presently grew tired of this game, and put his head down on his desk. Boromir soon fell asleep on the desk. Luckily, he didn't snore.

Éowyn looked over at him, and thought it was a good idea to sleep during Denethor's boring English lectures. "Hey, Arwen. Put your head down!" she whispered.

"Hey, good idea!" Arwen replied quietly as she put her head on the desk.

"Arwen! Éowyn! What are you doing?" Faramir quietly asked, interrupted from practicing his lines for the play auditions.

"Resting," Éowyn and Arwen answered.

"If my father, I mean, Denethor catches you, you'll be in trouble," Faramir reasoned.

"Catches us?" Éowyn asked. "He is so absorbed in his dumb lecture, he wouldn't notice if all the hosts of Mordor dropped an oliphaunt into the classroom."

"Okay, you take the chance," Faramir said and with that he went back to practicing his lines.

Soon the girls, too, fell asleep, and slept peacefully for about 10 minutes. But then, something happened that the girls did not intend. Denethor looked to the back after a break in his lecture about the semi-colon, and saw the two girls and his son sleeping. Only he didn't know it was sleeping. "Boromir!" he cried! "My son! Oh no, has he died? What happened? My line has ended! WAKE UP, BOROMIR!"

"What? Okay, I had the weirdest dream. So there was this Ring, and-" Boromir was interrupted.

"THE PRECIOUS!" Gollum yelled, now jumping out of his seat.

"What? What happened?" the girls asked, awaking at Gollum's antics.

"Yeah, whatever. And then Frodo, Sam, a bunch of others, and I had to go to some mountain to destroy it. How weird." Boromir said, explaining his dream.

"Destroy? You cannot destroy It! THE PRECIOUS!" Gollum shrieked.

"Gollum, shut up, you are such a nerd," Arwen and Éowyn said.

"Nooooo! The Precious!" he yelled as he ran out of the room.

Denethor went and pressed a button on the wall. "Yes, Grima, we have another escaped student. Please find him." He released the button. "And about your dream, Boromir, that's preposterous! An evil Ring, ha! Now, everyone pay attention. The semi-colon is very important." Denethor said as he got back to his lecture. "The semi-colon is used to indicate..." And with that the kids all sighed and got back to their boring activities to pass the time.

Finally, the wonderful words were heard. "Okay, now I am finished talking to you about punctuation." Denethor said as a sigh of relief went off from the class. "So now that you've all been educated on the proper use of the comma, the period, the semi-colon, the colon, the question mark, and the exclamation mark, here is a worksheet from the English for Dummies book." The class was disappointed at the thought of a worksheet, but the class still erupted in laughter at the notion of English for Dummies. "Hey, what's so funny? Here, take your- Oops," he said, finally realizing his mistake. "you weren't supposed to know that, were you? Err, Faramir, just take these and pass them out for homework." Denethor said, embarrassed that his mediocre teaching strategies had been revealed. "Also," he continued, "'Antidisestablishmentarianism' is the spelling word of the day.' It will be on tomorrow's spelling quiz." Denethor said as he pointed to the word written on the blackboard.

"But that's hard!" Pippin complained.

"But if you learn it, you won't be so thick-skulled anymore. So do it!" Denethor explained.

"Ok!" Pippin said entusiastically, not realizing that he had just been insulted by a teacher. "So, how do you spell it?" he asked, not looking up to see the answer on the board.

"LOOK ON THE BOARD!" Denethor yelled at Pippin.

"Oh, oops!" Pippin said. "Let's see, A-N-T-I..."

At that point the bell rang, signaling the end of class. "Now get out of here, you annoying kids!" Denethor yelled with no need, for the kids took off from that class at the first chance possible. They left the classroom, and proceeded onto Science with Gandalf.

**A/N: **Yes people, the dreaded English class is finally here! Okay, I figured that some people might be getting a little confused by now. Here is some explanation:

The story is taking place back in Middle Earth, but the people are very civilized and have all the modern day inventions and schools and such. The story is before the War of the Ring. At this point, Gollum still has the Ring, but he goes to school anyways.

Ok, I admit it's a little bit unrealistic, but hey, that's fanfiction for ya! Now that everything is straightened out, here are the answers to my wonderful reviewers!

**Punkydoolittle- **Glad you thought it was funny. That was my intention! I will update soon.

**Shroomipoo- **Yes, actually I have seen POTC, 21 times to be exact! If you read my bio, you will see that I am a total POTC obsessed-freak, and that I am also working on another story like this with POTC called "Port Royal High." It will be up soon.


	5. Science Experiments

Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High

Summary: Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

Disclaimer: Muahahahahaha! I own LOTR, everything, it's all MINE! "IN PLACE OF A DARK LORD, YOU WILL HAVE A QUEEN! NOT DARK BUT BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN! TREACHEROUS AS THE SEA! STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE EARTH! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!" What? I can, dream, right?

**Chapter 5- Science Experiments and History Class **

Soon the all the students, except Gollum, were seated in Gandalf's class, had been called on for role, and were listening to Gandalf's instructions. "Now, as you all know, all of your science projects are due today. You will be giving your presentation in front of the class."

"Great," whispered Sam to Frodo, "I'm terrible at presentations."

"Don't worry, Sam, you'll do fine. You and I practiced all last night," Frodo said.

"I will grade you for the quality of your project, and for your presentation," Gandalf continued. "Now since, Samwise Gamgee, you are having a side conversation with Mr. Baggins over here, you can go first and talk to the _whole_ class. Go ahead!"

Sam gulped, picked up his project, and walked up to the front of the classroom. "Hi everybody," he said as he crossed his fingers behind his back for luck. "My project is called the, uh," He looked around the room nervously. Frodo mouthed out "Lemon Juice Light Bulb." Sam smiled. "Yes, the Lemon Juice Light Bulb, as it says here on my chart. Yeah, right here, see my chart?" He smiled nervously. "For my experiment, I took the light bulb and wrapped the wires around its base. Then I attached the wires to the lemon, creating a full circuit, and..." Sam finished explaining his procedures, and then demonstrated it. "As you can see, the citric acid in the lemon creates energy; therefore, the light turns on!" And with the final touches, Sam hooked up his light and, like he said, it turned on.

"The what makes what happen?" Pippin asked Merry.

"The lemon juice makes the light turn on," Merry explained in words Pippin could understand.

"Oh, I get it," Pippin said nodding.

"Alright, the beginning was a bit shaky, but you did an excellent job, Samwise. You get an A." Gandalf said. Sam smiled shakily and sat down. Merry and Pippin both gave him a thumbs-up.

Soon the door opened, and Gollum was dragged in the classroom by Grima. "No! Don't make us go back! We hates it! We wants the precious!" Gollum screamed.

"Ah, Gollum, delightful to see you here," Gandalf said with just a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Thank you, Grima, for returning him."

Grima nodded and walked out saying something like, "I don't get paid enough to do this job."

"Okay, any volunteers to go second?" Gandalf asked the class once Grima had left.

Faramir was still annoyed about the potato incident, so he took Éowyn's hand and raised it. "Faramir! I don't wanna go!" she said. And with that she twisted her hand around, grabbing Faramir's wrist so it looked like Faramir was actually raising _his_ hand. Just for fun and to make it convincing, Éowyn waved it about a few times.

"Alright Faramir, you can go, since you are so desperate to." Faramir stood up and walked to the front of the classroom. When Gandalf turned his head, he stuck his tongue out at Éowyn, who returned the gesture. "I saw that, Faramir!" Gandalf said, turning around. Faramir sighed. It was hard having a wizard for a teacher. "Alright, start your presentation." Gandalf said.

"Alright everyone," Faramir said a low, announcer-like voice, "be prepared for the terrifying, the amazing, immense Mt. Doom!" He unveiled his wondrous work, or in other words, took the sheet off of his project. It was a plaster formed, mountain-looking object with a hole in the side and top, painted brown, black and grey in some parts to resemble stone. As a joke, Éowyn and Arwen got the whole class ooh-ing and ahh-ing. Faramir ignored it. "So, when I put in the baking soda and vinegar together," doing so as he spoke, "it causes a chemical reaction, and-" he added some red food dye in for color, "it should erupt! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Nothing happened.

"Yep, any minute now this thing will go off!"

Still nothing.

"What is this stupid thing doing?" Faramir muttered irritated. He added more baking soda and vinegar. And—

Nothing.

"What, is, wrong?" Faramir muttered through his clenched teeth. He added the whole box of baking soda and the whole bottle of vinegar. The same result. Faramir was so annoyed; he whacked the project on the side, in hopes that it would spur some magical reaction. His hopes were crushed.

"Well, Faramir, your project was turned in, so you at least got a grade for _that_, but since it didn't work, your grade will go down." Gandalf said.

"Aw man," Faramir said. "It worked at home."

"Well," said Gandalf, "it didn't work here, and that's what you are being graded on, so-" Suddenly a low rumbling, bubbling noise was heard as Faramir returned to his seat.

"Faramir, your project is doing something..." Aragorn said as he pointed at the shaking project.

"Yes! It's working! It's gonna, it's gonna-"

Red foam spewed out of the holes in the project, covering the unfortunate hobbits who had to sit up front. It began to spread throughout the room, starting to hit the other students, and then-

BOOM! The project exploded, totally covering everyone in the room with a mixture of baking soda, vinegar, and a dash of red dye.

The project quietly fizzed and hissed and then the sound went out, leaving no sound but dripping foam from everyone and everything. Faramir finallly broke the silence after a few seconds, though they had seemed like an eternity to him. "It's gonna blow?" he simply said, completing his previous sentence. This triggered all the others reactions, which was not a pretty sight.

"First potatoes, now _this_? What's next, will you be spitting on me? I am your girlfriend, I have full rights to slap you." Éowyn yelled at the poor student, who was very afraid of being slapped.

"AHHHHHHH! It burns us! It freezes!" Gollum shrieked.

"MY NEW JEANS! I'm going to KILL you, Faramir!" Arwen yelled.

"Yeah, it's gonna blow, ya think?" Aragorn yelled out.

"We HATE the front seats!" yelled all five hobbits simultaneously.

"Good going, Romeo!" Legolas yelled sarcastically.

"Didn't I tell you at home _not_ to put in so much baking soda and vinegar? You practically blew up Minas Tirith with _that_ one. Why don't you listen to me, brother?" Boromir yelled.

"Now we can be covered in food and foamy red stuff!" Éomer yelled.

"Yuck! This is gross!" Elladan and Elrohir yelled.

Faramir was overwhelmed by all of this, happening at the same time nonetheless, so Gandalf decided to help him. "QUIET!" he yelled, taking his turn in the yelling.

* * *

Outside, Galadriel and Celeborn were walking through the hall to the teacher's lounge. "Hold on," Celeborn said as he stopped outside Gandalf's classroom. They both listened to all the yelling, and finally heard Gandalf yell, "QUIET!" 

Galadriel shook her head in sorrow. "Poor old wizard," she said. "Must be his teaching period." With that the both continued down the hallway at a much faster pace, trying to get away from all the kids and noise.

* * *

"Thank you," Gandalf said with the class finally quiet, "Now, I know we all are angry, and it's irritating to be covered in this," he paused, trying to find a way to describe the red mess that they were in, "_stuff_, but that's how science works sometimes. It can have errors." 

"So?" Rosie said. "He _at least_ could've been a little more considerate of people in the front!"

"How was I supposed to know it would explode?" Faramir asked. "Like I said, it worked at home!"

"Yeah, like once!" Boromir retorted.

"Alright, alright, now I think that's the end of projects for today. So Faramir, say sorry to the class, and everybody, let's clean up this mess."

"Sorry everyone," Faramir said. He went to get sponges with everyone else grumbling, "That's the second time today I've had to say sorry to the class."

Everyone else went to get their cleaning materials grumbling, "This is the second time today we've been covered in something gross, and the second time we've had to clean up some mess that wasn't our fault."

It was a long time, the remainder of class.

**A/N: **Ok, just to remind you, when it says "the five hobbits," I am also referring to Rosie Cotton. She isn't mentioned a lot in the books or movies, but I figured that I had to get more girls in this story! Oh yeah, the ideas of Faramir's science project exploding and Boromir, Arwen, and Éowyn falling asleep in English from the previous chapter are both credited to my wonderful reader and reviewer, GoldenFaielf. Also last chapter's spelling word, "antidisestablishmentarianism" is credited to GoldenFaielf. It was great fun to incorporate the ideas into the story! If readers have any ideas or suggestions, please include them in reviews and I will try to add them into the story. So please follow the following good example and review!

**mz-turner- **Aha, I see you've found one of my other stories! Gollum is so funny, even in the movies. My friend and I were watching TTT and cracking up when Faramir says "What did they steal?" and Gollum/Sméagol replies "My Precious! AAHHHHHH!" laughs at Gollum's funny expression Ok, sorry, anyways, glad you like my story!


	6. History, Literature, and Art

**Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High **

**Summary:** Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

**Disclaimer:** No, my precious, JRR Tolkien doesn't own it, somewhere out there, Middle Earth is there, and I'm going to find it! Muahahahahaha! Hey, wait, if it's not JRR Tolkien's, then can it be mine? Ok, so maybe it is his…

**Chapter 6- History, Literature and Art **

Soon enough, the students got Gandalf's classroom spic-and-span. By that time, class was over, but Gandalf came over the PA system and said all the students could be late for class, because they all had to get themselves cleaned up.

The line for the bathroom was enormous, and everyone was trying to get in and cleaned up. The three girls had it easy; they could all fit in easily in theirs. But all of the boys were waiting in the line, and unfortunately, Legolas was last. So by the time everyone else was cleaned up, he was just getting in.

Just as the students were all getting seated, and all was quiet, they heard a bloodcurdling scream pierce the silence!

* * *

Just as the bell rang for Celeborn's history class, Legolas appeared at the door, in full, red-headed glory. 

"Whoa, Legolas!" Aragorn said. "I didn't think you'd go for the punk look, but-"

Legolas marched up to Faramir. Inches from his face, he said angrily through clenched teeth, "Your dumb project turned my hair RED!"

Faramir's face was turning nearly purple from contained laughter at the red-headed Elf standing in front of him. "Oops," he simply said and burst into hysterics, along with the rest of the class.

"Stupid Elf has colorful hair!" Gollum shouted while laughing.

"Why, you miserable little maggot! I'm gonna wring your neck!" Legolas shouted at him.

"But that's _my_ job!" Sam said sadly.

"Alright everyone, settle down." Celeborn said, walking into the classroom, a donut in hand from the teacher's lounge. "Now, today we will be- Great Valar! Legolas, what have you done to your hair?" He got back an angry glare. "Kids this Age…" Celeborn muttered. "Ok then, let's just open our textbooks and begin our lesson today with the First Age," Celeborn said to the class as they followed said instruction. "Now follow along as I read. 'It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three Rings were given to the Elves…'"

The rest of history went quickly. For all of class, they read from the book, and then wrote a paragraph on why Isildur should've destroyed the Ring when he had the chance. Except Gollum of course, who didn't follow the writing prompt and wrote about why it was _good _that Isildur didn't destroy it, because he loved "the Precious."

* * *

And then it was time for Literature with Théoden. 

"Good afternoon, class!" Théoden said cheerfully as he walked in the door. He got no response from the class; only silence and crickets chirping from somewhere in the background. "Ok, looks like you are all feeling glum. But I have something that will cheer you up: We are starting a new book today! It is called There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale." More silence, and more crickets chirping. "Aren't any of you excited?" _More_ crickets. "Goodness, Gollum, lunchtime is _over_! Put the crickets away!" Gollum sulked and put the jar of crickets in his desk.

"Eww…" the girls said concurrently.

"So as I said, we are starting a new book called There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale." Théoden said as he passed out the books. "Now start on page one." He said once everybody had gotten a book.

"No, I was gonna start on page 90," Éomer whispered sarcastically to Aragorn.

"I heard that, Éomer! And by the way, you're holding your book upside-down," Théoden said as the whole class laughed at a blushing Éomer…

* * *

And lastly, there was art. With… 

Saruman. He was extremely old, but a new teacher to Middle Earth High, and he had never taught kids before. "Hello, my victims, I mean class!" he said as he came in. "Now, is everyone here?" The class nodded. "Ok, then let's get started! Today we will be sculpting! Who knows what sculpting is?" he asked the class.

Frodo raised his hand. "Uh, when you make stuff out of clay or stone or stuff?" he answered.

"Very good, Frodo! You get a gold star,"Saruman said as he gave Frodo a sticker.

"Thanks..." Frodo said uncertainly.

"So, today we will be sculpting columns out of stone! Then we'll be putting them up in my kingdom of Isengard! Then I can make you my slaves forever! How does that sound?"

"But why do we have to be your slaves?" Pippin asked.

"Because you, Pippin, are young and stupid and I am very wise and powerful!" Saruman said. "Now," he said as he led the students out to the courtyard where an immense slab of stone lay, "Get sculpting!"

**A/N:** Yay! Another chapter! The idea of Leggie's hair turning red was submitted by GoldenFaielf! Everybody clap! Applause All readers: be like GoldenFaielf and submit ideas for the story in your reviews! I will definitely put them in!

I am wondering: Did this story show up on the list of "Lord of the Rings" stories? I know the story is on the site somewhere because you all are reading it, and it is also on my bio. But it never seems to show up on the list! And when I did a search on it, it didn't come up either. It's the same with my POTC story, "Life on the Seas." Anyone have any info?

But anyways, here is an update, hope you like, and here's to the reviewers!

**Amalita:** Woohoo! Glad you like! Here is an update!

**indiegurl2008: **Ahem, yeah nice review with you and your alter ego. Yeah, there was some more of Sam in this chapter and the last one; he is cool, I like him too! Oh yeah, Denethor is an idiot, he is very weird. Pyromaniac!

**Amalita's _other_ review: **Gimli and Elrond? Elrond was going to be the Elvish teacher; he will be there soon. I wasn't planning on putting Gimli into the story; I don't like him that much. But if my reviewers have spoken… I will put him in somewhere. I was thinking of making Gandalf the principal, since he has already dealt with Merry and Pippin…

**mz-turner:** Whoa, that is a crazy story. My friends and I get into that sort of trouble too!A few days ago therewas our"lunch-box football" tournament in the cafeteria, and- well, I won't go into detail… Middle Earth High was kinda modeled after my school, but unfortunately, no one's science project has ever exploded.

**GoldenFaielf: **Even _more_ great ideas from you! I love the idea of turning Leggie's hair red. I was laughing as I wrote this! Frodo will do his back flip in their next school day in Gym. That should come inone or two chapters. By the way, I will try to read one of your stories, but I can't guarantee anything; I am so busy with my own stories!

**Trish Shakespeare: **1st person plural, 2nd person plural, whatever! I never listen in English class. You are too smart, mon ami. You French speaker! I am in el classe de espanol! By the way, your phrase is famous! All the hobbits are vertically challenged! Anyways, see you at school/science/drama! Yearbook!

Yahoo! Six reviews for one chapter! I'm king, err, QUEEN of the world!!!


	7. New Students

**Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High **

**Summary:** Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

**Disclaimer:** Random Facts: Sandwiches were invented in the 1700's. My washing machine is squeaky. I don't like doing chores. And I don't own LOTR.

**Chapter 7- New Students **

The next day, the students were all coming to school from their various parts of the Earth, and were all milling around with friends, waiting for school to start. But there weresix new students present, who knew no one at all.

Arwen and Éowyn walked up to the blonde girl. "Hi, what's your name?" Arwen asked her.

"Goldberry," she replied. "What's yours?" the girl said.

"I'm Arwen of Rivendell," Arwen replied.

"And I'm Éowyn of Rohan," Éowyn replied. "You're new right?" Goldberry nodded. "You are so lucky! You missed the cafeteria war, and how Faramir's science project exploded."

"When did all this happen?" Goldberry asked.

"Just yesterday. Typical day, in our school." Arwen said as Goldberry raised her eyebrows at the notion of so much commotion in one day.

"See, the food fight was initiated by those two," Éowyn explained, pointing to Merry and Pippin. "They are true troublemakers."

"Halflings, correct?" Goldberry asked.

"Yes, as are those two, Frodo and Sam," Éowyn said. "That, um, thing over there _was_ one, but he obviously isn't anymore, so now we just call him Gollum," she said pointing at Gollum. "He's kind of a loser, always talking about some precious or whatever, and referring to himself in 1st person plural. Watch. Hey Gollum!" she called to the creature. "Éomer has the Precious!"

"PRECIOUS! Where is it?! IT'S OURS!" Gollum screamed. He started bounded over to Éomer, about to attempt a tackle.

"Éomer, look out!" Elladan and Elrohir yelled just as Éomer jumped aside, sending Gollum straight into the wall. Éomer ran from the creature, and once Gollum had regained his senses, he began chasing Éomer all around the schoolyard, as the students laughed their heads off. Éomer being on the football team, it was quite a chase.

"I don't have the Precious!" Éomer shouted as he ran. Gollum finally tackled him, and wrestled him to the ground.

"Get off me, you creep!" Éomer yelled. They fought for a minute, until Gollum limped away, and Éomer got up with torn clothes and sore fists from punching. "I'll get you for that, Éowyn," he said. "I will, my sister…"

"So, that's why you stay away from Gollum," Arwen needlessly explained.

"Yeah," Éowyn agreed. "Now over there, that's my brother, Éomer, who just got chased around the schoolyard…"

&

Legolas, Aragorn, and Éomer went over to the shortest student, obviously a dwarf. "What business does a dwarf have in Middle Earth High?" Éomer asked him.

"Give me your name and I shall give you mine," he replied.

"I would cut off your head, dwarf, if it-"

"Alright, alright, Éomer, that is enough!" Aragorn said, cutting him off. "My apologies for his, err, behavior. He is Éomer of Rohan, and this is Legolas of Mirkwood, and I am Aragorn from, well, wherever."

"I am Gimli," the dwarf said, "but I don't associate with Elves." Gimli looked up at Legolas and gave him a disdainful look.

"Hmph. Dwarf!" Legolas yelled.

"Elf!" Gimli yelled back.

"Dwarf!"

"Elf!"

"Fine!" Legolas said as he turned his back.

"Same to you!" Gimli said. "Never trust an Elf…"

&

After his ordeal with the dwarf, Legolas went to another new student, who was an Elf like himself. "Hi!" he said pleasantly.

"Um, hi…" the other Elf replied, a bit taken aback.

"I am Legolas of Mirkwood, what's your name?" Legolas asked him.

"Haldir. I am of the Lorien realm," he answered.

They soon started talking, and finally Legolas warned him, "Don't go near the dwarf. He has attitude issues…"

&

All five hobbits went to the other student, who looked to be half man, and half hobbit. "Are you a hobbit? Or a man?" Pippin asked him.

"Hello to you too…" the student said.

"Pippin! That's rude!" Sam said.

"Sorry, Mr. Manners," Pippin said sarcastically to Sam. "Good morning. May I make your acquaintance?" Pippin politely said to the student.

"Oh, I'm Tom, and to answer your question, I don't know," he answered. "I suppose I'm just different then everyone else, because I'm neither," the student, Tom, said.

"Oh, so you're half and half, or- what?" Pippin said, cocking his head to one side, confused.

"He doesn't know what he is," Merry explained. "You're thinking too much, Pip."

"Oh, ok," Pippin said. "That's cool."

"Yeah," Tom said. "So, what's that screaming thing over there?" he asked the hobbits…

&

Éomer and Éowyn left to go talk to the human student, who was also their cousin, Théodred. After a quick chat, they left, and Éowyn got busy talking to the other new girl. Meanwhile though, Éomer was busy staring at the her.

"Who's that guy over there staring at me?" the girl, named Lothíriel, asked as she pointed to Éomer.

Éowyn looked followed Lothíriel's finger to see Éomer staring at her. "Him? That's my brother, the one who got chased around the schoolyard. But, uh, I'll be right back," she said as she hurried over to Éomer. "Éomer! What are you doing?" she asked him.

"Look, Éowyn, she's pretty…" Éomer said, still staring at Lothíriel.

"And you're delusional," Éowyn said as she slapped her brother on the cheek.

"Oww! What was that for?" he cried out as Éowyn broke his trance.

"For being stupid," Éowyn replied.

Éomer sighed. "Well, could you at least tell her I said 'hi,' or _something_?" he asked.

Éowyn was doubtful. "Hmm, well-" she started. But then in her brain concurred a new idea, and she replied to her brother: "Sure Éomer, I'll tell her you said hi." And then she strode back to Lothíriel with a smile on her lips.

"Hey," she said to Lothíriel. "That's Éomer, my brother. And he wants me to tell you he says hi-"

_Yes_, Éomer thought, _my plan is working! _

"and that he thinks you're absolutely gorgeous and he'd like to ask you to the Spring Dance," Éowyn finished. _Yes_, she thought, _my plan has worked! _

Éomer heard these words leave his sister's mouth, and at first thought he wasn't hearing clearly. First he stared at Éowyn, then at Lothíriel, then back at Éowyn. _This is the second time_, he thought sadly, _that my sister has tricked me in ten minutes._

Éomer walked up to Gollum. "Alright Gollum," he said, "you can kill me now."

But then, as if just on perfect timing, the bell rang, signaling the students to go inside and start another crazy day in Middle Earth High.

**A/N:** Hey all! I wanted to get this chapter up quick tonight, because I have the first of three shows of my school play, "Yearbook," in approximately 1.5 hours. And instead of going and reviewing my lines like I should, I have treated you all to another chapter! I didn't really like it because of all the introduction stuff, but oh well! Next chapter will be up soon and better!

By the way, my friend, who is also in the play and whose pen name is **Trish Shakespeare**, saw me at play practice the other day and said I should credit her to the phrase "vertically challenged," used to describe Pippin WAY back in Chapter 1! So, LOVE THE PHRASE, GIRL! GO YEARBOOK!

Ahem, anyways, here are the new students! Everyone welcome Goldberry, Tom, Théodred (amazingly here from the dead!), Haldir, Lothíriel, and Gimli! If you haven't read the book, you don't know who Tom and Goldberry are. The hobbits encountered Tom Bombadil in the Old Forest, I believe, and he took them back to his home on the River, where they met Goldberry, who lived with Tom. I wanted more girls in the story (as cheerleading tryouts are up soon!), so I added Goldberry and Lothíriel in. Hope everyone likes it! More reviews! I love you all!

**mz-turner- **Perhaps he would look hot with red hair… Ha ha ha, no pun intended. You think the story is great, I think the reviews are great! So I'll keep writing and you keep reviewing and then _everything_ will be great! PS: You know that little story you put in your review for last chapter? Would you mind if I used it and put something like it into the story? That would be funny!

**Amalita: **I was laughing as I wrote it! That idea with Gimli is hilarious! I will have a football game coming up soon, with the orc team, and I'll use the idea. Maybe an orc can throw him through the goalposts, too!


	8. Math and Gym

**Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High **

**Summary:** Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

**Disclaimer:** Here are some _more_ random facts: Hazelnut cream cheese tastes good. Archery is fun. My cat looks like an Orc. Oh yeah, and I _still_ don't own LOTR.

**Chapter 8- Math, Gym, Etcetera… **

"Hello, students!" Bilbo said cheerfully. The class groaned. "It's a wonderful day, the sun is shining, and oh! We have six new students, too! Now come to the front, and introduce yourselves!" The new students groaned.

Théodred went first. "Hi, I'm Théodred, son of Théoden, and I live in Edoras, and I, uh, I like to fight orcs, and- stuff."

"Wonderful, wonderful!" Bilbo said. "Next!"

"Hi, I'm Lothíriel, daughter of Imrahil, and I like cheerleading." Lothíriel said.

"Ooooo, cheerleader…" whispered Éomer to Éowyn.

"Shut up…" she replied.

Gimli went next. "I'm Gimli, son of Gloin. DON'T MESS WITH ME, ELF!" Gimli yelled at Legolas.

"Anger management…" Legolas whispered to Aragorn.

"I heard that!" Gimli yelled.

"I'm glad! It's true!" Legolas shouted.

"Oh, speak for yourself!" Gimli replied.

"AHEM!" Goldberry yelled, breaking the argument apart, and leaving both students grumbling in their seats. "Now, I believe it was my turn. I'm Goldberry of the River, and I like archery and sword –play."

"Yeah, girl!" Éowyn shouted and slapped her hand.

Then Tom went. "I'm Tom, son of whoever, and I like fishing and wearing my yellow boots."

"Yellow? Yellow is so last week!" stated Arwen. "But that's alright, it's, like, vintage!"

"Whatever…" Tom said as he took his seat.

"Tell me again; why _did_ you date her, Aragorn?" Faramir whispered.

"I dunno. It's better than dating, Éowyn, for certain!" Aragorn replied.

"Oh, you're just jealous because you couldn't handle a shield maiden, so picked an Elf instead!" Faramir hissed.

"Am not!"

"Am too!"

"Am not!"

"Am-"

"Gentlemen!" Bilbo exclaimed to Aragorn and Faramir, who were unaware that their voices had been growing louder with every "Am !"

And lastly, after Aragorn and Faramir's dispute, there was Haldir. "I'm Haldir, son of- wait! Who are my parents? Do I _have_ parents? I'm an orphan!" Haldir yelled, and with that he returned to his seat sadly.

"Alright, welcome, welcome!" Bilbo said. "Now, today we will be working on algebraic equations. Will anyone volunteer to explain them?" Bilbo asked. No one raised a hand. "Gollum, thank you very much for volunteering!"

"But we didn't volunteer!" Gollum screeched. "WHAT'S ALGEBRAIC EQUATIONS, PRECIOUS? What is it, precious?"

"Well then, everyone just open your books to page 70, read the entire page, then do problems 1-100 on page 72, then the odd numbers of problems 1-76 on page 73, then read page 74, and do ALL 50 problems on page 75." Bilbo intoned as he wrote the assignment on the blackboard.

All the class groaned and muttered things like: "That's not fair!" and "Too many problems!" And Gollum was busy still yelling "WHAT'S ALGEBRAIC EQUATIONS, PRECIOUS? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Quiet, quiet down, do you want me to make it _more_?" Bilbo asked. And with that the students went dead quiet and began doing their 188 algebraic equation problems.

&

Then it was time for Gym class with Thranduil. After changing into their gym attire, the students proceeded up to the gym. When they got there, to the horror of Aragorn, Faramir, Éomer, and Boromir, scattered around the gym were tumbling mats, swinging bars, rings, parallel bars, and ropes.

"It's, it's-"

But at that moment, Éomer was interrupted by Thranduil, for he strode into the room said, "Welcome, class, to Gym!" Then, the horrible words were heard: "Today we are starting gymnastics!"

"Yes!" the girls hobbits yelled happily. They were happy for a quieter sport after the last unit of rugby.

"Whatever…" the Elves Legolas, Haldir, Elladan and Elrohir said, not really caring one way or another. They had survived rugby just fine, just dodging out of the way with the girls, while letting Aragorn, Faramir, Éomer, and Boromir do most of the work.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Aragorn, Faramir, Éomer, and Boromir, of the race of Men, yelled as they realized their fate.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Théodred asked.

"Gymnastics," said Aragorn, shuddering as he said it.

"It is the fool of the curriculum," Boromir said.

"You wonder who came up with it," Faramir added.

"But none who venture into that unit, that part of gym class, ever return," Éomer said in a scary voice.

"Has that really ever happened?" asked Théodred.

"IT COULD!" Éomer yelled.

"Éomer, stop threatening your classmates. Gymnastics is harmless," Thranduil said. "Now, I know some of you may not like gymnastics," he said, while furtively glancing at the boys, "and you may find this unit difficult..."

"Or boring," Faramir whispered.

"Or annoying," Aragorn continued.

"Or embarrassing," Éomer added.

"Or-"

"That is enough! Aragorn, Faramir, Éomer, Boromir, if you make one more peep, then I will send you to Gandalf!"

And the four boys shut up really fast.

"Now. I'd like a volunteer for the backflip. Gollum, how about you?" Thranduil asked.

"WE DIDN'T VOLUNTEER! Why is they always picking on us, precious? WHY? WHY?! It isn't fair to us! Not at all! AHHHHHHHHHH!" And then he, once again, ran out of the room screaming.

"That's the 3rd time this week," Thranduil said. "And it's only Tuesday! Elrohir, go press the red button on the wall," he said as Elrohir went to follow said command.

When the voice of Gríma came on the speakers, Thranduil said, "Yes, Gríma, it's Gollum, he-" Thranduil was cut off, because the announcement was quite familiar, and Gríma knew precisely what to do.

"Alright then, now that our first 'volunteer' is rampaging throughout the school, who'll go next?" Thranduil asked. "How about you, Aragorn, since you are so avidly involved in gymnastics?"

Aragorn looked around nervously. He couldn't even do a handstand, let alone a backflip! "Uh, we didn't volunteer?" he said nervously.

"Nice try! Now get on that mat and try to demonstrate a backflip, or you'll fail this class!"

"Ok…" said Aragorn uneasily as he walked onto the mat. He placed his hands on the mat, kicked up his legs, started to flip… and landed flat on his back, with the entire class as witness. Aragorn got up to face the degrading laughter of his classmates, and sadly walked back to his place in line.

"Anyone else want to try?" Thranduil asked. "How about a Hobbit? How about Frodo?" he asked.

"Me?" Frodo asked, surprised.

"I don't see any other Frodo around here," Thanduil answered. "Come try a backflip!"

"Go on, Frodo!" encouraged Merry.

"Well, alright," Frodo said nervously. He walked up to the mat, and quick as a flash, sprung down the mat, flipping five times before landing on just the edge of the mat and sticking it. After performing this feat, he was praised with much applause from all the students.

"Never in over 1,000 years have I seen a Halfling perform such a feat! Wonderful job, Frodo! You undoubtedly get an A!" Thranduil exclaimed. "Now, would anone else like to try the backflip of doom?"

**A/N:** I had to give Arwen a preppy moment there: "'That is so last week! But that's alright, it's vintage!'" He he he!

As some of you may have noticed, the girl Lothíriel is in this chapter. "How did she get here?" you ask? Well, due to reviewer requests, and the new "export text" thingy the fanfiction people have added, I added in a section about Lothíriel in the last chapter. "Who is she?" you wonder? She was daughter of Prince Imrahil (who is not really really important, and will not be discussed for fear of a very very long explanation), and she married Éomer at the end of ROTK. Another girl! Yay! Please go read Chapter 7 again in its entirety, to get another good laugh and understand Lothíriel's appearance.

Oh yeah, I'd like to credit **GoldenFaielf** (once again!) for the idea of Frodo doing his backflip in gym! LUV YA!!!

By the way, I GOT THE ROTK EXTENDED EDITION!!! Go me! ROTK is now over 3 hours long, but I watched it all! Buahahahahaha! I love it! But anyways, here's my gift to you. New chapter! Please review! Shoutouts will be next chappie, as my dad is nagging me to "Get to bed already!" Love yall! See you later!


	9. Verb It's What You Do!

**Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High **

**Summary:** Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own LotR. 'Nuff said. He he, I stole that disclaimer from my friend Trish Shakespeare, but I'm planning on returning it. Maybe…

**Chapter 9- Verb- It's What You Do! **

"Mae govannen, class," Elrond said as he walked inside.

"Suilaid, Elrond," the class answered in unison.

"Hannon le." Elrond said to the class. "Now, today we will be working on Elvish verbs."

"Verb! It's what you do!" Pippin stood up and shouted.

"Thank you, Pippin, for that proclamation," Elrond said. "Now today, as I previously said, we will be working on verbs, NO COMMENTS!" Elrond said, stopping both Pippin and Merry from interrupting again. "And so, today we will be playing a game!" Elrond said to diluted clapping. "So, stand up, and when I say the word, you'll do the action," he explained as the students reluctantly rose from their seats. "Ready, and _cen_!" Elrond barked.

The students pondered the verb for a minute, then just stood still and stared straight ahead, for the word meant "see."

"Alright then, _cab_!" Elrond said.

And the students started ridiculously jumping around, for it meant jump, as Elrond held back his laughter.

"_Ped_!"

Arwen immediately followed this command. "Oh my gosh! Did you hear about Rosie and Sam? They're-"

"Arwen, I said speak, not _glavra_," Elrond said to his daughter. "Well, _linna_!"

"1 2 3 4! DON'T WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT!" Merry, Pippin, Frodo and Sam sang/yelled.

"We only wish, to catch a fish, so juicy SWEEEEEEEEEEEET!!" Gollum sang, or more accurately, screeched.

"Oh, I just can't wait to be king!!!!!" Aragorn sang, as best he could, while Faramir, Boromir, and Éomer started rapping, Éowyn was on a random rock song, and Legolas and his fellow Elves started on some country song.

But they were all drowned out by the very high-pitched opera solo Arwen began singing, and the glass vase on Elrond's desk began to quiver, and suddenly it broke into tons of scattered fragments. And when the windows started to shake, Elrond yelled "DARO!" And in doing so stopped all the singing before something else was broken. "Alright," he said, "_osgar_!"

"What's that mean? What's _osgar_?" everyone whispered nervously.

Finally, Legolas, whose native tongue was Elvish, figured it out. "But _osgar_ means amputate!" he yelled.

"How are we supposed to amputate something?" Frodo asked.

"Err, nevermind… how about _eitha_?" he asked, forgetting that he had just asked the students to insult each other.

"Stupid, fat hobbit!" Gollum yelled at Sam.

"Sam, are you gonna take that sitting down?" Frodo asked Sam.

"Why, you two-faced devil!" Sam replied to Gollum angrily.

Gimli and Legolas were quite busy saying:

"Dwarf!"

"Elf!"

"Dwarf!"

"Elf!"

"Stupid bloke!" Éowyn yelled at her brother.

"Do you mean that?" Éomer asked.

"Of course not," Éowyn said to him. "Yes…" she whispered to herself when he turned away…

Suddenly:

_RIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!! _

The bell rang, freeing the students from, jumping, speaking, singing, insulting, and amputating of any kind.

So much for verbs.

**A/N: **HAPPY NEW YEAR! A little late, I must say, but oh well. For the occasion, it's time for Elrond's big debut as the Elvish teacher and Galadriel's as the Chorus teacher! Yay! I've tried my best with the Elvish in Elrond's class; I've taken snippets of it from the movies, books and even other people's fanfictions. My friend and I are trying to learn Elvish, maybe just a bit, or maybe like Viggo Mortenson, who knows it fluently! So cool! Anyways, here are the translations:

**Mae govannen: **Welcome  
**Suilaid: **Greetings  
**Hannon le: **Thank you  
**Cen:** See  
**Cab:** Jump  
**Ped: **Speak  
**Glavra:** Babble  
**Linna: **Sing  
**Daro: **Stop!!  
**Osgar: **Amputate  
**Eitha: **Insult

By the way, has anyone seen that "Verb, it's what you do!" commercial? Just wondering! Anywho, thanks to all reviewers! Please review, and constructively _lacho _(flame) if necessary!_ Namarie! _

**Khalil: **Thanks for your two reviews! The canoeing idea gave me inspiration for something big in this story, a new idea… NO, I'mnot telling! He he… Sophomore of a Took!

**mz-turner: **Wow! Loyal fan indeed. Tom Bombadil is cool. I was sad when they left him out, even in extended edition. ##Sobs## Anywho, HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT MEH???? It's my fave story! And I haven't forgotten about Before It All Began, either, but I'm just REALLY bored with it. Sorry to all those Before It All Began fans, I'll try to get it chapters 9 and 10 up soon as possible. By the way, I applaud you for staying up 2 nights in a row without your parents finding out, too! Don't worry, your secret's safe with me! PS: Thanks for letting me use your little story! Coming up in Chapter 11!

**Matrixelf: **I'm glad it's funny! And thanks for letting me know it was under the LOTR section! I was worried, my poor little fanfic out there, somewhere in the wilderness of this site…

**calypso silverhawk: **Yay! I'm on your favorites list! I love getting on people's favorites list! It makes me feel all warm and fluffy inside… Thanks for your review!

**Arvodowen: **Glad you like it! Thanks for the idea about Legolas and Gimli having a fight in the middle of Gym class! I have started writing it, and it's coming up in Chapter 12!

**Rana Ninque: **Bwahahaha! I know of Lothíriel! It says so on the Encyclopedia of Arda. Yes, that is what I do in my spare time, read the Encyclopedia of Arda. He he. And no, Goldberry and Tom aren't married yet… I suppose you're right, Boromir and Théodred wouldn't be dead yet, because none of them have been on the quest yet, and the War of the Ring hasn't started… it's all very confusing, oh well. By the way, that junk that happens with the stories not showing up is really weird. Like I said in my Ch. 6 note, it happened with one of my POTC stories as well. And sometimes a lot of things don't show up on searches either. The fanfiction people really do need to fix that. But anyways, thanks for your review and please do keep reading!

**Sweet Stealer: **Lots more is coming next! Thanks for reviewing! Please keep reading!

**ForeverFaramir: **I _had_ to put Faramir and Éowyn together! I am a big fan of that ship! I'm working on a story with the two together, but it isn't posted yet. By the way, I read your story, Meetings. Please update it! I found it very good. Anyways, please keep reading!

**Trish Shakespeare:** Yo, sup home slice! He he, nice alien smiley! Listen all you pooheads out there, she is an alien! It's true, it's true! Bwahahahaha! He he, sorry, I think I had one to many chocolate bars today. But thanks for your review, Mir- Trish Shakespeare!

**Ryuujin Dragon King: **Yes, precious, I'm glad it's funny! Love Gollum, he's hilarious and very fun to write. About the Spanish stuff, I just started taking it this fall! That was just a little piece of fun I added in, and whenever we are taking roll in my Spanish class, we always say "presente" at our name. I guess our teacher will teach us tenses and such later. But now I can go back to class and impress her by saying "presento." Thanks! About that bit with Rosie, now that I look back on it, I notice it doesn't really make much sense, but it's really a trivial detail. But now I'm laughing, because it's true that she looks back and says something like, "Hey, look who that is! He's been in my class the whole time!" Ha ha! I like that bit with Boromir. Funny how five words can make a person laugh so hard. Anyways, thanks for the review and keep reading!

**Crirawen: **Thanks for the idea about Lothíriel! If you've read Chapter 7 again, you'll notice that I've put in a section about her. Thanks a bunch! Here's an Orc for giving your great idea! ##Hands over Orc## Err, never mind… ##Takes it back## Keep reading!

**GoldenFaielf: **Your backflip idea made its debut last chappie! And your miniskirt idea is next! Yay! I hope you liked it! Here's _two_ Orcs for the great ideas! Oops, I'm out of Orcs, you can have Gollum instead! He he, nevermind that either; you can just have my TV, and my computer, and my room, and my house… I am forever in your debt for all these hilarious ideas!

Sooo many reviews! Bwahahahahaha! I rule the Earth!!!


	10. The Splits and a Crazy Lunch Helper

**Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High **

**Summary:** Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

**Disclaimer:** If LOTR was mine, I'd be rich! But it's not…

**Chapter 10- The Splits and a Crazy Lunch Helper**

After Elvish, the students were rushing to get to Chorus class. Not to say they really cared, but last time they were late, they all had to clean up the entire football field as punishment, and the students did _not_ want to do that again.

Arwen, though, for that day had decided to wear her new high-heeled shoes and miniskirt, both recently bought at the mall. However, she was having much difficulty walking in her, stylish, yet three inch high shoes.

Soon enough, the four minutes which were allowed for getting from class to class were almost spent, due to the fact that the chorus room was at the exact opposite end of the school from the Elvish room. And Arwen's walking problem wasn't making matters any better.

"Hurry up, Arwen! You're gonna make us late!" Faramir said.

"Run!" Goldberry called.

"Girl, in these shoes, this is sprinting!" Arwen called back.

"Oh, please," Éowyn muttered as she ran back and began to drag Arwen along by the hand.

"No! I can't go that fast!" Arwen yelled. "I'm not wearing tennis shoes!"

"I don't care! We'll be late again!" Éowyn yelled back as she pulled faster. Suddenly:

_RIIIIIIIIIIING!!_

"Not again!" Legolas said miserably.

"Come on!" Pippin yelled and the students began running as best they could.

Suddenly, Arwen slipped on a puddle of water, not seeing the yellow caution sign. As she and Éowyn went down, the students heard two yells from the girls. Éowyn got up quickly from the fall, but Arwen, in her skirt, was stuck very painfully in the splits.

"OWWWWWWW!!!!" she cried out in pain.

"Get up!" Éomer yelled at the girl.

"I can't!" she cried.

"I'll help you, Arwen!" Aragorn yelled as he rushed to her side.

"Show off…" Faramir muttered.

Soon enough, Aragorn had gotten Arwen up off of the floor, and the students, once again, were rushing off to class, with few detours this time, though they were already about five minutes late.

The door burst open, and the students finally rushed in and took their seats. "Sorry we're late, Miss Galadriel. _Someone's_ shoes were an inconvenience on the way here," Éowyn explained.

"But you are late, even so," Galadriel said. "Therefore, today as punishment, we'll be singing THIS!" she yelled menacingly as she whipped out a copy of sheet music. "Bwahahahahaha!"

"Oh no," Legolas muttered.

"It can't be," Pippin said.

"It is," Merry replied.

"It's, it's…" Boromir started.

Éomer finished his statement.

"THE CHRISTMAS MEDLEY!"

&

Soon their torture was over, and the students were off to their favorite subject: lunch. Merry and Pippin had actually gotten to leave class early, and were glad to be going. But when they remembered what they were actually leaving class _for_, they began to wish to go back.

Lunch duty was extremely boring. They would give out the food, and then work the register and ring it up. Merry was working the register; for fear that Pippin might make a mistake with the buttons.

But the other students had decided that this punishment wasn't enough. That for starting the humongous food war, they should be a little more disciplined. So they decided to have a little more fun with Merry and Pippin's lunch duty time…

&

"Oh, PIPPIN!" Legolas called as he was buying his lunch.

"Yes?" Pippin replied.

"Can you get me a hamburger?" the Elf asked.

"But it's right there in front of you!" Pippin protested.

"So?" Legolas asked, starting to get on Pippin's nerves.

"Just take your stupid food and leave, Legolas…" Pippin muttered as he handed over the burger.

"Hey, Pippin! I need a napkin!" Aragorn yelled.

"And…"

"Can you get one for me, PLEASE??" Aragorn asked sweetly.

"Fine. Here," Pippin said, handing it over. "Lazy Ranger boy…"

"Merry!" Éomer called. "Merry! Hey, Merry! Merry! Merry… Merry!"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, ÉOMER???" Merry finally turned around and yelled.

"Who, what, huh? I wasn't doing anything! Merry, you must be hallucinating or something. Here's my lunch money," Éomer said as he walked off with his lunch.

"Merry, does lunch cost a dollar?" Frodo asked.

"Yes, Frodo," Merry replied.

"Wow, really? I have never noticed."

"Frodo, it's been that way since preschool."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Frodo. I am sure."

"Wow! I never knew. Isn't that odd how things can be there, and you never notice them?"

"Can I just have your lunch money?"

"Oh sure! Here you go!" Frodo said as he walked off.

This went on for quite awhile. Soon, the voices started to get to Merry and Pippin. _"Merry… Pippin… Merry! Pippin! Hey Merry! Pippin! Merry, Pippin! Merry! Hey, Pippin!" _

The words swirled around their minds, filling them up, pushing out any other thoughts but the yelling of their classmates. _"Merry… Pippin… Merry! Pippin! Hey Merry! Pippin! Merry, Pippin! Merry! Hey, Pippin!" _

Finally, Pippin stood up and yelled in his delusional state: "ALRIGHT! WE DID IT! WE STARTED THE FOOD FIGHT! LOOK! HERE'S THE FINGERPRINTS! WE'LL DO WHAT YOU WANT! JUST MAKE THE VOICES STOP! MAKE THEM STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Ok, that was odd," Lothíriel commented after about a minute of silence.

"Yeah," Aragorn agreed. "But meanwhile, I need another napkin over here!"

**A/N:** Hey, that was a quick update!But I had to write this;it mademe feel better. I was a bit in the dumps today. After trying out for my school play, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and after giving almost the best singing of my life, I got the role of… the butler. When I wanted Joseph or the Narrator, yee-haw, I'm a butler. So, instead of the Narrator, I get to be a butler and sing 4 lines about a dream, and 1 line about Joseph, and 3 lines with… the baker. 8 lines so easy, I know them already. Hooray. I bet the Narrator has, like, 300.

I know, I know, I shouldn't be complaining, but I'm still sad. Luckily for me, I have Middle Earth High to come home from school to, and Arwen to pick on. Bwhahaha! Sorry all you Arwen fans, but I just don't like her that much, so I make slip on the floor. That's life. By the way, I'd like to credit **GoldenFaielf** AGAIN for the miniskirt idea. Thank you soooooo much! I love it! But anyways, I hope you all have as much fun reading this as I did writing it! Next chapter will have a fun surprise… READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!


	11. Scary Terrorizing Mortifying Frightening...

**Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High **

**Summary:** Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I still don't own LOTR, but now I don't own the _song_, either. BUT- I _do_ own the lyrics! Go me!

**Quick A/N: **The song should be sung to the tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" from the movie "Mary Poppins." Sing along if you'd like! If you haven't seen that movie, then that's just sad, and I say that you really need to get out from that rock you live under. But read through the lyrics anyways! By the way, it will change from regularformat to script format, but that shouldn't confuse anybody. It's easier to read and was also easier for me to write. Hope you guys like!

**Chapter 11- Scary Terrorizing Mortifying Frightening Horror! **

The students now were about to enter, once again, Denethor's dreaded class, and were explaining everything about it to the new students.

"That class is _scary_!" Pippin exclaimed.

"Terrorizing!" Legolas continued.

"It's mortifying!" Aragorn cried.

"Frightening horror!" Faramir added.

"Iiiiiiiiiit's-" Arwen, Éowyn and Rosie started singing…

Everyone: "Scary, terrorizing, mortifying, frightening, horror!"

Legolas and Aragorn: "The lectures are so boring that it's almost like a murder!"

Faramir and Boromir: "The teacher is a pyro and he smells like a gas burner!"

Everyone: "Scary, terrorizing, mortifying, frightening, horror!"

The Girls: "Um-diddle-um-diddle-um-diddle-ai! Um-diddle-um-diddle-um-diddle-ai!"

Arwen, Éowyn and Boromir: "The class it is so boring that sedate us it does strive!"

Faramir: "The teacher is so crazed he tried to burn his son alive!"

Frodo: "And if you talk out of your turn, he'll threaten you with a knife!"

Everyone: (song stops abruptly) "What?"

Frodo: "It could happen!"

Everyone: (song starts again) "And know if you go in there, there's a chance you won't survive! Oh! Scary, terrorizing, mortifying, frightening, horror!"

Legolas and Aragorn: "The lectures are so boring that it's almost like a murder!"

Faramir and Boromir: "The teacher is a pyro and he smells like a gas burner!"

Everyone: "Scary, terrorizing, mortifying, frightening, horror!"

The Girls: "Um-diddle-um-diddle-um-diddle-ai! Um-diddle-um-diddle-um-diddle-ai!"

Sam and Rosie: "So always make sure that you come and sit down there on time!"

Pippin: "And know that Denethor may think complaining is a crime!"

Merry: "The restroom tax you have to pay has always been a dime!"

Everyone: "But when you leave that class, you see, you'll always feel sublime! Oh! Scary, terrifying, mortifying, frightening, horror!"

Legolas and Aragorn: "The lectures are so boring that it's almost like a murder!"

Faramir and Boromir: "The teacher is a pyro and he smells like a gas burner!"

Everyone: "Scary, terrorizing, mortifying, frightening, horror!"

The Girls: "Um-diddle-um-diddle-um-diddle-ai! Um-diddle-um-diddle-um-diddle-ai!"

Arwen: "We know that we go everyday and it's a horrid bore!"

Éowyn: "It almost seems like class is just another awful chore!"

Éomer: "But if you feel uncertain there is no need to dismay!"

Everyone: "It's only 'bout an hour out of each and every day! Oh!"

At this time, everyone except for Gimli, Théodred, Goldberry, and Tom, who were still watching entranced, formed an enormous kick line, and were kicking with the beat of the song while singing as fast as possible.

Everyone: "Scary, terrorizing, mortifying, frightening, horror!

Scary, terrorizing, mortifying, frightening, horror!

Scary, terrorizing, mortifying, frightening, horror!

Scary, terrorizing, mortifying, frightening, horror! Hey!"

And with that they all struck outrageous poses, ending their song.

"That was fun!" Pippin said.

"Yeah, that was fun. We've never sung before, only with Galadriel in class," Rosie said.

"Fun. Take it while you can before we go in there," Boromir warned.

"So, ready to go?" Éowyn asked as she helped Legolas pull Gollum out of the corner where he'd been hiding the entire performance.

"I'm not so sure…" Goldberry replied, her face stricken at the horrors described in their song.

"Yeah, do we really have to pay a tax to go to the bathroom?" Théodred asked Merry.

"Yep! Hope you brought lots of quarters!" Merry said as he patted his pockets, full of coins. Théodred's eyes became saucers, and he ran off to the bathroom before he would have to pay. When he returned, all of the students walked in to Denethor's classroom, arm in arm, ready to face whatever perilous lectures or torture awaited them.

**A/N: **After reading other people's so many times, I have finally tried my hand at writing a little song fiction! I know the rhymes aren't the best, but hey, I'm only human! Does anyone like? Dislike? Review and tell me what you think! For those of you that don't like song fictions that much, worry not, this is only a one time thing, and it probably won't happen very often, unless the characters feel like breaking into song again. They're quite unpredictable. I got the idea for using this song from "Supercallousedfragilemidgets" by **The Phantom**. That songfic is so funny! Go read it! Anyways, hope everyone liked this chapter, and sang along with the lyrics! I was scrolling up and down, singing them over and over…

HERE'S TO THE REVIEWERS!

**Countess Jackman- **Thanks for all your reviews! Greenday is awesome. I had to put them in Ch. 9. I wanna go to MEH too! I had a dream, once, that I did. I think it was the first day of school, and we were signing up for classes. Funny stuff! That Gollum "ah" thing is hilarious! Now whenever either my friend or I say "my precious," then we start laughing! I can't believe you dislike Arwen as much as me! Virtual high-five! Those ideas are hilarious! I'll use them! By the way, prom is in the spring, so maybe about chapter… 30!

**empath89-** I'm glad you like the story! I hope I updated soon enough to keep your interest.

**ForeverFaramir- **No problem reading your fic! It's good! I liked the update, by the way. Poor Faramir, sent out of the city. I'm glad you liked the insults in Ch. 9. They were fun to write. Please keep reading!

**Rana Ninque**- I'm glad I'm not dominating the story with one character. I don't like the stories where, unless listed as so, one character is in every single scene, taking over the story. The searches really are messed up. For instance, I look for my friend, Lady Varda, and it says there are no results, but if you look under the LOTR section, her story is there with her pen name. The only problem with the two main characters is who to put in, if no one is dominating the story! But I won't drop it, don't worry! I love this story!

**druidgoddess113**- It's kind of like my school, kind of… Everyone is scared of my English teacher too! Cool! But sadly, we've never someone's science experiment blow up, anyone's hair turn red from it, any Hobbits doing backflips, or had a food fight. Hmm… ##Takes out notebook labeled "Diabolical Plans" and starts scribbling##

**Lily Took- **Well, I would want some payback after being in a lunch war! Ah, well, too bad for them… Anyways, I'm glad you liked the story! Keep reading!

**princessbuttercupstwin**- Thank you! I like the idea with Legolas and the stalkers. I'll use it!

**Lady-Eliwen**- Well, I don't want to keep you from studying, but I'm glad you like it! Writing this is actually stress-reliving, too! We've recently had midterms at my school, so I've been writing A LOT. Luckily, they finished today (Yay!), but I'll still keep posting. I like the idea with Denethor and the fire alarm. I was already thinking of having the fire alarm go off in one of the classes, but I guess great minds think alike!

**kingmaker**- Hmm, a true geek, ya, my school has a lot of those. I guess everyone really fits in here. I like the idea with Galadriel and Celeborn. I was thinking of Gollum… "Ahhh! Nasty Elves!"

**GoldenFaielf**- It's no problem mentioning you; after you review so much! I like the idea with Gollum and Bilbo getting trampled, and the students scraping gum off… something. I'm sad to say that I won't be able to use many ideas in the coming chapters; I have the story laid out until about Chapter 21, entitled "Winter Break Begins!" After that, I'll use the ones that you and many other people have submitted, so just keep reading!


	12. The Mordor Gang and Extra Strength Advil

**Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High **

**Summary:** Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

**Disclaimer:** I remember now- I can own the plot! Go me!

**Chapter 12- The Mordor Gang and Extra Strength Advil **

"Who are _they_?"

Denethor asked it, the minute they all walked in the room, referring to the new students.

"Hello to you to," Lothíriel whispered.

Goldberry stepped forth. "Hello, um, sir, we're new students. We just came to school today."

"Good! More victims to torture, I mean, more students to teach! Come on in and have a seat!" Denethor said as the students all did so. "Now," he continued, "we have some more new students! I have contacted Mordor High, and their head principal, Sauron, has agreed to let some transfer students come here to Middle Earth High!"

"Mordor?" Frodo asked nervously.

"I have a question," Pippin said without raising his hand. "Isn't Mordor a part of Middle Earth? Why don't they come to our school, since it's called Middle Earth High?"

"Oh, come on now, Pippin, you don't really think we could fit 100,000 Orcs in our school, do you?" Denethor answered on a whim.

"Orcs?" Sam asked nervously.

"Yes, Mordor, and Ringwraiths, and Orcs…" Denethor said.

"Mordor and Ringwraiths and Orcs, oh my!" everyone chorused. "Mordor and Ringwraiths and Orcs, oh my! Mordor and Ringwraiths and Orcs-" Everyone stopped short as two Uruk-Hai, an Orc, a Ringwraith, and a Goblin walked in.

"OH MY!" everyone yelled in their surprise.

"Welcome to Middle Earth High!" Denethor said gleefully. "Don't be shy, introduce yourselves!"

"I am the Witch-King of Angmar," the, obviously, Witch-King said in a hoarse voice. It then followed with Lurtz and Shagrat the Uruk-Hai, Sharku the Orc, and Stripes the Goblin.

"Wonderful!" Denethor said. "Now sit down, anywhere you'd like." With that, Lurtz and Shagrat sat down on either side of Frodo and Sam, making the hobbits wish that they weren't quite so small. Sharku sat down by Aragorn, making him a little nervous. Stripes sat by Pippin, and finally, the Witch-King sat by Éowyn.

"So today, I'll be talking about verb tenses," Denethor said. "Now, there is past tense, present tense, future tense, past perfect tense, present perfect tense, future perfect tense, past progressive tense, present progressive tense…"

"Lecture time…" Faramir whispered as everyone went back to their daily English class "activities."

"I'm bored, 'Ro," Elladan said to his brother in the back of the classroom.

"Me too, 'Dan," Elrohir replied.

"What'cha wanna do?" Elladan asked.

"I dunno. But I'm so tired! I shouldn't have stayed up last night," Elrohir said.

"What were you doing, again?" Elladan asked.

"Pasting the pages of _ada's _grade book together," Elrohir said.

"Oh yeah," Elladan said. "Now I remember."

"Lecture… making me tired… can't concentrate…" Elrohir drowsily said. "AHA! I'll take these!" he suddenly exclaimed softly, holding up a bottle of Extra Strength Advil pills.

"Where'd you get those?" Elladan asked.

"Found them on _ada's_ desk a few weeks ago," Elrohir answered. And with that, he took out three of the pills and swallowed them.

"Let me see that!" Elladan said as he grabbed the bottle from his brother. "'Ro, you know you just swallowed three 400 mg pills of Extra Strength Advil?"

"Well, what's that supposed to mean?" Elrohir asked.

"I don't know, but it sounds bad," Elladan answered.

"Well, I don't feel bad," Elrohir said. "In fact, I feel quite better then I have in this class for a long time! In fact, I feel like singing!"

"Don't," Elladan warned, clamping a hand over his brother's mouth.

Elrohir peeled off his brother's hand and began jibbering at the top of his lungs. "Why not?" he asked. "I want to sing! Everyone else sings! Even Gollum sings! But no one likes my singing voice! WHY? Hey, speaking of singing, remember that Christmas medley that we just did in Chorus? Man that was crazy! It was-'"

"Elladan! Be quiet and take your seat, now!" Denethor interrupted, mistaking Elrohir for his twin.

"But he's not-" the real Elladan started.

"I don't want to hear it, Elrohir!" Denethor yelled at Elladan.

"Don't want to hear what?" the real Elrohir shouted. "If someone were asking my opinion, which I note, they're not, I would say that we don't want to hear you lecture us every single-"

"Alright! I'm calling Gandalf!" Denethor yelled. "Elladan, stop yelling and sit in your seat!"

"Elladan? But I'm-" Elrohir started.

"QUIET!" Denethor bellowed. He went to the wall and pressed the button to Gandalf's room. "Yes, Gandalf, I have a little troublemaker here by the name of Elladan." This time Elladan didn't even try to clear his name. "Please come and deal with him," Denethor finished.

Soon enough, Gandalf got to the classroom and pulled out the correct Elladan into the hallway. "Fool of an Undómiel!" he said sharply. "What were you doing that was so bad that I had to come down here during my coffee break?"

"Nothing, sir, honest!" Elladan said innocently.

"Don't try to fool me, little troublemaker!" Gandalf replied. "I still remember last time when you glued me to my seat last time I was in Imladris!"

"That was an accident!" Elladan exclaimed. "And, and… it was all Elrohir's idea!"

"Indeed! Now, I'm going to let you off with a warning, since I wasn't there. But next time this happens, whatever _did_ happen, there will be severe consequences!" Gandalf said.

"Like…" Elladan asked.

"Like lunch detention for a week!" Gandalf said menacingly.

"Yes sir," Elladan said sadly as he walked back into the classroom.

"Sorry about you getting in trouble, 'Dan," Elrohir said to his brother.

"That's alright. It's not your fault no one can tell us apart," Elladan replied. "But you still shouldn't have taken those extra strength pills."

"Pills? What pills?" Elrohir asked, holding up an empty bottle.

"There were _no_ pills?" Elladan asked rhetorically through his clenched teeth.

"ELROHIR!"

**A/N:** I got the name Stripes for the Goblin from my cat, who is currently bugging me here at my computer and messing up mty typinfg. My friend Lady Varda and I were watching the Fellowship of the Ring, for I dunno, the 5th or 6th time, when we got this joke that one of the Goblins in Moria looks like my cat. Hence: Stripes the Goblin! Sharku was the Orc on the Warg Aragorn got attached to in TTT, by the way. Oh yeah, the Advil thing with Elladan and Elrohir was a story from **mz-turner**'s own experience, submitted in a review… sometime back in Chapter 5, I think. I loved it! Thank you, mz-turner!

By the way, we are up to the 51st review! YES! Does little dance in office chair and puts on party music But I only got eight reviews for the last chapter! C'mon people, I'm trying to get to 100! Reviews practically keep me alive! Now come on, would it hurt two more of you to review? _Two?_ I know there are more readers out there. Therefore, I have decided to hold my chapters ransom. Until I get at least 10 reviews after a new chapter is posted, the next chapter won't be posted! Grr, I'm a tough authoress. Keep reading, and _reviewing_ yall!

**ForeverFaramir**- Sorry about getting you kicked out of the library! Funny was my intent! Thanks for your review!

**LATMC- **Thanks! I'm glad you liked it so much!

**the7bells- **I hope I updated soon enough. I'll add that part in about Denethor wishing to retire!

**kingmaker- **Though it seems you don't like them much, I'm glad you thought it was a good specimen of a songfic. It probably won't happen again, if you didn't like it, or songfics in general, that much. Thanks a bunch for your honest criticism!

**SweetStealer- **Glad you think so! Keep reading!

**empath89- **I've actually had this written for a long time; it just came to me one day… But then I had to wait forever to post it where it would make the most sense in the story, so when it came time to, I just had to post it ASAP! But don't worry, some of the other stories I have, I haven't updated in, well… err, just keep reading!

**GoldenFaielf- **Is it interesting good, or interesting bad? Well, I'll take it as a compliment. Um, yes, about that question, I think I'd pay a dollar. Maybe. I've never been to Europe, or to Disneyland, nor European Disneyland, so I wouldn't really know. Anyways, thank you for the review!

**calli- **I'm glad you think it's so funny! Thanks for reviewing!


	13. Protesting, Dictatorships, and Fights

**Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High **

**Summary:** Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

**Disclaimer:** Stupid, fat disclaimer! Anywho, I don't own the characters. He he.

**Chapter 13- Protesting, Dictatorships, and Fights**

It was the next day in gym, and everyone arrived ready to do gymnastics. Well, _almost_ everyone.

"Down with gymnastics!" Aragorn yelled, holding his sign up high.

"No more backflips!" Éomer shouted.

"Forget handstands!" Gimli yelled.

"Boys…" Éowyn whispered to Rosie.

Suddenly, Thranduil walked into the room. "Alright everyone, time to- what in Elbereth's name are you doing?" he asked the boys.

"We're protesting!" Aragorn declared.

"Against gymnastics!" Boromir added.

"We're implementing our political rights!" Éomer yelled proudly. Everyone suddenly stopped and was amazed that Éomer had just used such a sentence. "What? I've been listening about politics in Celeborn's class!" he exclaimed.

Thranduil broke the silence. "Political rights? Protesting? What do you think this is? A democracy?"

"Maybe…" the boys replied in unison.

"You're wrong!" Thranduil corrected. "This is a dictatorship! I am the dictator, and you are my humble servants. The only thing you get from me is a grade, and you want a good one, don't you?"

Pippin then spoke up. "If you're our dictator, does that mean you can make us your eternal slaves, like Saruman did?"

"Saruman made you his eternal slaves?" Thranduil asked.

"Yeah, but we're planning on protesting that too," Faramir said, flipping his "GymnasticsTorture" sign over so it read: "Down with Orthanc!"

Thranduil thought a minute. "Well…" he finally said, "good luck with that. Now take your seats, boys!"

Suddenly, as Aragorn and Co. were walking sadly back to their places in line, a smile crept across Legolas's face. He then stuck his foot out and tripped the dwarf.

"Hey!" Gimli cried as he fell flat on his face. "What was that for?" he asked Legolas as he got up.

"What? I didn't do anything!" Legolas said innocently as Gimli walked off in a huff.

A few minutes later, Gimli got an idea of his own. Sitting behind the Elf, Gimli reached out and poked his back. "Oww!" Legolas cried out.

"Legolas, is something wrong?" Thranduil asked his son.

"Um, no, _adar_," Legolas replied, confused. He looked back at Gimli, just sitting in his place in line and watching the teacher. "Weird…" he thought to himself.

"So, Legolas, would you come demonstrate?" Thranduil asked.

"What? Oh, sure? Wait, demonstrate _what_?" Legolas asked.

"Pay attention, _pen dilith_. Would you demonstrate the balance beam?" Thranduil asked his son.

"Yes, _adar_," Legolas replied. He rose from his seat on the floor, and hopped up onto the balance beam. The class got up and gathered around, and Legolas did a quick, yet impressive, routing on the balance beam. He ended with a flourish, and when his father wasn't looking, a kick to Gimli in the face.

"Wonderful, Legolas. Now everyone, get to work on the equipment," Thranduil said to the unhappy students. Aragorn got to work on his backflip, such that it was. Éowyn went to the balance beam, Boromir went to the parallel bars, and everyone else went to, well, something else. And Legolas and Gimli were busy plotting ways to upset and/or embarrass each other.

Legolas was climbing up one of the ropes hanging from the ceiling. Gimli, seizing opportunity, walked up and shook it. "What the-" Legolas said from his high perch. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he yelled as he hung on to prevent falling off. But as he slowly slid down the rope, Gimli stepped out of the way, clearing his name.

"ROPEBURN!" Legolas yelled when he jumped off at the bottom of the rope.

Thranduil rushed over to his son. "Legolas, you really must be more careful about shaking the rope like that," he said. "Go to Ioreth, the healing lady, and get some ice."

Legolas walked off toward the healing room, and meanwhile thought up new ways to torment Gimli son of Gloin…

&

"GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!" Gimli yelled, clinging to the basketball hoop.

"Gimli, Gimli, Gimli, how did you manage to get up there?" Thranduil asked once the dwarf had gotten down onto a pile of tumbling mats.

"I remember stepping onto something, then flying through the air, and then, I was… up there," Gimli explained vaguely.

"Well, don't let it happen again, so you- NO Pippin! Get off the trampoline!" Thranduil yelled, leaving Gimli puzzled about how he had gotten up on the basketball hoop.

But it wasn't until he saw Legolas's smug expression that he realized…

& Meanwhile…

"Hi, Éowyn" The Witch King said as he walked up to Éowyn, who was practicing on the balance beam.

She looked down. "Oh, hi," Éowyn replied. "Would you like a turn on the balance beam?" she asked him.

"Um, no," he said. "I'm contented… just watching you… here," he said dreamily, with what would have been a stare if the Witch King had a face.

"Oh, alright," Éowyn said, now on her second time around the beam. She noticed him just standing there. "Hey, hey, are you ok? Hello?" she asked as she snapped in his face. "Whoa!" she yelled as she lost her balance and fell off the balance beam. Just in time the Witch King was startled out of his reverie and reached out to catch her.

"Thanks!" she said as he put her down.

"No problem…" he replied. "You know, you're really pretty…"

"Yes… Well, thanks for that comment," she said surprised as she got back up on the balance beam.

"Sooooooooo, are you busy Friday night?"

"Well…"

&

Éomer ran up to Faramir. "Dude, that gothic freak is hitting on my sister!" he exclaimed.

Pippin suddenly popped up. "Yeah, and he's hitting on your girlfriend too!" he said, pointing at Faramir.

Both looked at the little hobbit. "You're hopeless," they said, and with that, they ran off.

&

In the meantime, Gimli had managed to fall off the trampoline and get thrown against a wall. Legolas, on the other hand, had fallen off the rings and gotten knocked off the balance beam, and he currently had gotten his foot caught in one of the climbing ropes and twisted it around. The result: he was hanging upside down.

"Hello? People? Get me down! I'm upside-down here! Help!" But the students were already occupied with something else…

&

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" the students yelled as they encircled Éomer, Faramir, and the Witch King.

"Fool! No man can fight me," said the Witch King.

"I am no- Well, that doesn't really work here," Faramir said, catching his mistake. "I _am_ a man! How about you, Éomer?" he asked, pushing Éomer forward.

"She's _your_ girlfriend," Éomer replied, shoving Faramir back.

"She's _your_ sister," Faramir countered.

"Wimps!" Aragorn shouted from the crowd.

"Fine, fine!" Faramir said unwillingly. He went up to the Witch King, and very carefully, gave the Ringwraith a small punch, then shielded himself with his right arm and closed his eyes, waiting for the worst.

"That's it? Do it again, c'mon!" the Witch King taunted. Faramir looked up, drew back his arm, when suddenly,

WHACK!

"You should know better than to ask a girl out, then try and beat up their boyfriend!" Éowyn said, whacking him again. "Freak!" she exclaimed, and she walked off.

Merry went up to the Witch King and shook his head. "That's wrong, dude, just wrong," he said.

As if on cue, Thranduil then blew the whistle, at which everyone left the gym. Well, _almost_ everyone…

"Hello? I'm still hanging here! Upside-down! Will someone get me down? Please? C'mon people, did you just forget about me? HELP!"

**A/N:** Well, it took me a looooooooooong time, but I updated! After a long non-writing period, and finally some LOTR-watching, I had inspiration! _Well,_ thought I, _those people need me out there!_ So I sat down and finished this chapter. The idea of Legolas and Gimli having their "fight" in Gym was submitted by **Arvodowen**. And the whole Witch King/Faramir/Éomer/Éowyn thing was submitted by **kingmaker**. Thanks to both! And by the way, sorry about all the scene changing from the Legolas/Gimli argument and the Witch King/Faramir/Éomer/Éowyn thing, but that's the way it would best work, since it all happened at once.

Hmm, the characters aren't very happy, they've been waiting in Gym class for a looooooooooong time. So now for a special segment that I call:

**The LOTR Characters Getting Mad at Me For**- Oh never mind.

Larien is sitting at home on a winter evening, minding her own business and enjoying some LOTR-watching. Suddenly, she hears some faint yelling outside the door. _Sounds like angry LOTR characters!_ she thinks to herself. She cracks open the door, and her suspicion is confirmed. _It **is** angry LOTR characters!_ Suddenly the door is flung open by Merry and Pippin, and despite her ferocious struggle, she is dropped before the merciless LOTR cast of students.

Boromir: YOU!

Aragorn: You've left us in gym for a month!

Théodred: With, with…

All Students: HIM! (turn and point to Thranduil, who is tied up to a tree)

Larien: Egads! You freaky characters! (looks over at Gollum who is pouring kerosene all over a pile of the gymnastics equipment)

Gollum: (sings to self) _Roasty toasty gym stuff, roasty toasty gym stuff…_

Larien: And you're burning the gymnastics equipment?

Éomer: Well actually…

(beeping is heard)

Everyone: GAAAAAH! (all dive into hastily constructed bomb-shelter)

Students: Three, two, one…

Gymnastics equipment: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Students: YES! Muahahahahahaha! (victory dance around burning equipment)

Thranduil: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Larien: I'm… disappointed! And Legolas! You helped tie up your own father?

Haldir: He was actually the main mastermind in the plan.

Larien: Gasp!

Legolas: What? Who else could've known he'd be at the karaoke bar every Friday night?

Larien: Double gasp!

Sam: But it was horrid!

Éowyn: While you've been gone, doing… whatever it is you authors do, we've been stuck in Gym waiting for this chapter to happen!

Gimli: And we've been stuck using that stuff! (points to now incinerated gym equipment)

Lothíriel: We couldn't take it anymore!

Gollum: Evil, precious, evil, yesssssss……

Goldberry: Um, yeah. What he said.

Larien: Fine, fine! I take your pity. I'll make Thranduil change the gym unit, and I'll update sooner. Maybe.

Students: (raise pitchforks and torches)

Larien: OK, OK, I will, I WILL! But now, there's one thing I've been meaning to ask you…

Aragorn: Yes?

Larien: Got another time bomb for my school's ping-pong equipment?


	14. After School Clubs

**Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High **

**Summary:** Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

**Disclaimer:** Whacks disclaimer with baseball bat Get out, you annoying piece of ffn. I DON'T OWN LOTR! GAAAAH!

**Chapter 14- After School Clubs **

But in this epic school adventure of our brave and valiant heroes, there is one thing missing: after-school activities. It was a Tuesday, and the list for that day was as follows:

Newspaper Club: Bilbo and Gandalf  
Football: Celeborn and Thranduil  
Cheerleading: Galadriel

All the students crowded around the list to see what they'd go to. Soon enough, the crowd had dispersed, and the students were off to whatever activities awaited them…

& At the Football Field…

"Alright," said Thranduil, "when I call your name, acknowledge your presence. Aragorn?"

"Here!"

"Boromir?"

"Present!"

"Éomer?"

"In attendance!"

"Faramir?"

"At hand!"

"Théodred?"

"Currently here, sir!"

"Gimli? And for Elbereth's sake, just say here!" Thranduil said.

"Here!"

"Haldir?"

"Here!"

"Elladan?"

"Here!"

"Elrohir?"

"Here!"

"And Legolas?" Nothing. "Legolas? Where's Legolas?"

Suddenly, Aragorn remembered. "Legolas is… inside. I'll go get him," he said as he ran off towards the school.

Aragorn ran into the gym to find Legolas, upside-down, talking to Pippin, who suddenly ran off at Aragorn's yelling.

"Legolas, YOU'D BETTER GET YOUR ELVISH ASS DOWN TO THE FIELD NOW!"

"A little help would be appreciated…" Legolas said.

"What's it worth to ya?" Aragorn smirked.

"JUST GET ME DOWN!" Legolas shouted.

"Ok, ok, don't be hasty," Aragorn said.

"What are you, an Ent or something?" Legolas said Aragorn worked on untying him. "AAAAH!"

THUMP

"You know, you could have at least warned me…"

& Back at the field

Legolas and Aragorn jogged back onto the field to be greeted by their fellow footballers. Éowyn had run up to Aragorn. "Aragorn! I'm to be sent with the girls into cheerleading," she said.

"So what do you want me to do about it?" he asked.

"Not… helping," Éowyn muttered, annoyed.

"Well, that is an honorable charge," Aragorn replied.

"To mind the crowds, to start the cheers up for the team? What renown is there in that?" Éowyn asked.

"Éowyn, a time may come for valor without renown. Who then will the team look to in the last defense?" Aragorn responded.

"Let me stand at your side," she said.

"It is not in my power to command it," said Aragorn as he turned away.

"You're the team captain! How can it not be in your power?" she asked. Aragorn shrugged his shoulders. "Fine! BE LIKE THAT, ARAGORN!" she yelled as she stalked off to join the cheerleaders in stretches.

"What was that about?" Boromir asked.

"She wanted to join the football team," Aragorn replied.

"She's always doing that," Éomer interjected. "Ever since we were born in a log cabin in Rohan…"

"Alright! Let's get to warm ups!" Aragorn yelled, cutting off the conversation. "Who wants to do monkey rolls?"

& Back inside…

The newspaper club, consisting of Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Gollum, and Tom, was hard at work inside. Merry and Pippin had just edited their article, and were turning it into Gandalf, with hopes that it was good enough to be published. Said article read as follows:

**Football Tryouts to be a Hit  
**By Meriadoc Brandybuck

Football tryouts are this week, and MEH is abuzz with the news. So far, ten students are signed up to try out. After interviewing Legolas, a player of last year's team, my comrade, Peregrin Took, has the story:

Pippin: So, Legolas, have you ever taken steroids?

Legolas: WHAT? What sort of question is that?

Pippin: Gandalf said it was alright. (smirks) At Bilbo's birthday party a few weeks ago...

Legolas: Err, no.

Pippin: Sure?

Legolas: Keep going!

Pippin: Alright, how has football changed your life?

Legolas: Well, I suppose it accounted for that broken shoulder last year…

Pippin: Alright, that's… nice. What position do you play?

Legolas: Well, I'm usually center offense, but Elladan and I can switch off for running back.

Pippin: How special.

Legolas: Yeah it is! Ask more questions. I'm not paid to listen to your comments.

Pippin: But you volunteered… never mind. One last question, do you think this season will be a success?

Legolas: Well, our offense was good last year, but Mordor beat us, so we might need better defense. I don't know about the new players trying out. (spasm of special irritation here) And if we can get GIMLI out of the way, then we can probably do well. And as for Aragorn, the-

Aragorn: (storms in) LEGOLAS, YOU'D BETTER GET YOUR ELVISH ASS DOWN TO THE FIELD NOW!

(end interview)

**A/N: **That seemed kinda short, for some reason. Whatever. This was originally supposed to be Ch. 7, but I have gotten so many ideas to put in, it had to wait. I love you all! Sorry about the wait. I would've put this up sooner, but first our internet was down and then I went for a 3-day camping trip. So here we are. Hey, I just remembered, my gym class started out gymnastics yesterday! I feel the students' pain! Wow, I've got a lot of reviews to reply to (I gotta get more up to date!). Here goes…

**CHAPTER 12: **

**the7bells- **Yep, he'd probably have to quit after he lit himself on fire. O happy day!

**empath89- **Yay! Here's another update!

**Lily Took- **Glad ya liked the songfic! Ok, ok, here's an update! I don't want Denethor as my teacher. English is already bad enough…

**kingmaker- **Good idea having the Witch King as a geek person. And thanks again for the idea, I've used it, as you can see from Ch. 13, to great success! Yes!

**ForeverFaramir- **I figured I needed something with Elladan and Elrohir, and the story mz-turner submitted sounded like something one of them would do. Hence: this! Glad you liked it!

**StupidFatHobbit**- Glad you like the story! It always seems like Undómiel is a last name, because people say Arwen Undómiel, and since Elladan is her brother, then it seems like it would be his name too. Whatever, it's kinda trivial anyways.

**X-EvEnStAr-X- **Yay! I love your ideas! The test one with Gimli and Legolas is in Ch. 15, which is almost finished, and will be up soon. (I promise!) Thanks so much!

**ElladanandElrohirrock- **Hmm, 3 pennames. Well, I'll try to remember them! Sorry about the mix-up. As you can see, the idea was in Ch. 13 instead!

**mz-turner- **You're back! I was kinda starting to wonder, I mean seriously, you review every chappie… Computers are messed up. I think mine has like a zillion viruses, grrr, evil hackers!

**Lady-Eliwen- **You liked the chapters and the song! Yay! Thanks for reviewing!

**One Feather- **Thanks for all the compliments! Gosh, everyone liked the Mary Poppins chapter! Yes! Thanks for reviewing!

**Lost-Elf- **Yay, it cheered you up! I feel like a good citizen, lol. Well, I hope you had fun with the 8 page Science report, a 2 page Julius Caesar report, and a 1 page Spanish report! I'm just kidding, blah, I hate homework!

**SilverFaiElf- **You went to India? Or is it that European Disneyland place you were talking about earlier. Whatever, sry. Thanks for reviewing!

**CHAPTER 13: **

**ForeverFaramir- **Yeah, Faramir! This version of Éowyn is a little… odd. I don't think the Witch King would've backed down after being… slapped. Ah, well, it's fanfiction! Read on!

**Faerlas- **Ingenious… hmmm, never heard that one before… thanks! Glad you like it!

**LATMC- **Thanks! Well, Legolas got down… eventually. He got to miss Saruman's class though, lucky. Ok, here's an update!

**InterLinea**- (Alright, this is to ALL the reviews!) Looking back on it, I think the same thing, Éowyn does seem kinda girlyish (if that is a word) in the food fight. Had this really happened, she'd probably be joining in. Maybe I'll change it someday… I've given up on Elvish. I know "hannon le!" from the movie; that's about all. I can dream… I wish I was a pro comedian; that would be fun! BTW, that story about the person and the trees is kinda creepy, I think I'll use it next chapter! Thanks!

**Amalita- **Thank you! Sorry I couldn't just leave Legolas hanging there. But I have another idea to leave him… somewhere. Don't worry, it's coming up! LOL thanks for reviewing!

**kingmaker- **I guess Thranduil's a nice dictator…lol that makes no sense! Ha ha, the Witch King, that was funny… Thanks for reviewing!

**SilverFaiElf- **I'm in 7th grade, and we have to dissect the frogs, too! The worst part is that we had a lot of kids who messed up on other experiments, so they couldn't do the frogs, but no teacher was willing to watch them while the rest of us did do the frogs. So now we have to come in to do it in groups during lunch! Gross! "Teacher, there's frog guts in my macaroni!"

**Eleniel of the Stars- **Thank you so much! I'm glad you think it's one of the better high school stories. I've seen some that are, well, not so good. Not to brag, though. Well, thanks for the compliments!

**mz-turner- **OK OK, gosh… here's an update!

**Countess Jackman- **(to all the reviews) Yep I kind of find Arwen annoying in the movie, I mean it's all nice once you see the scenes once but seriously, if you watch as much as I do, it gets boring. #virtually high fives back# Yes, Legolas is evil… lol nice ideas! Thanks!

**Norma Jean the Dancing Machine- **Nice idea with the Legolas/Goldberry archery deathmatch. Thanks for reviewing!

**ElladanandElrohirrock- **I know! It's just really hard to get all the chapters written, being so long and all… and I get so many ideas to put in! I think I'll have to do MEH Year 2… Oh, once again thanks for your idea!

**Fantasy of Wonder- **Yay! You liked it!

26! O MY GOSH THAT TOOK FOREVER! L. C.


	15. This is a Test

**Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High **

**Summary:** Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

**Disclaimer:** Would you stop rubbing it in? I DON'T OWN LOTR!

**Chapter 15- This is a Test**

"Alright, keep your papers face down. People, this is a test. No passing notes, no talking, and no wandering eyes," Théoden said as he passed out test papers. He suddenly realized he had forgotten something on his list of "no's."

"And no Morse Code this time, Faramir!" he reprimanded.

"Aw, darn it!" Faramir muttered under his breath.

"You have a time limit of 30 minutes. Ready, and begin!"

& 1 minute later…

"Legolas!" Gimli whispered. "Two already!"

"I'm on 17!" Legolas replied as he scrawled away at his paper.

"I'll have no pointy-ear out-scoring me!" Gimli quietly exclaimed as he began to ferociously scribble around his paper.

"Nineteen!" Legolas updated the score.

"Twenty!" Gimli replied.

"Twenty-one!" Legolas countered.

"Twenty-two!" Gimli answered.

"Twenty-three!"

"Twenty-four!"

"Twenty-five!"

"Twenty-six!"

"Twenty-seven!"

"Twenty-eight!"

"Twenty-nine!"

"Thir-"

"Would you guys shut up?" Pippin interrupted. "I'm _trying_ to concentrate!" he exclaimed as he got back to his work of filling in the bubble sheet so it looked like a smiley face.

&10 minutes later…

Legolas whispered again. "HA! Done the essay!"

Gimli looked frustrated. "That still only counts as one!"

"No talking!" Théoden yelled, and the two shut up.

& After class…

Legolas walked up to Gimli. "Final count," he said, "Forty-two."

"Forty-two?" Gimli asked. "That's not bad for a pointy-eared Elvish princeling like yourself. I, myself am sitting pretty on _forty-three_!"

Legolas was about to start cursing that he had lost to a dwarf, however, he was interrupted by manic laughter coming from outside. All the students rushed to the nearest window to see Gollum driving off in Théoden's red Cadillac. "HA HA! STUPID FAT HOBBIT CAN'T GET US NOW!" (more insane laughter).

"Poor damaged soul…" Éomer said, shaking his head. "He never had a chance."

"Well, at least he didn't get Gandalf's new Mustang," Faramir said helpfully. As if on cue, the students saw the black car speeding by, attached to the Cadillac by a long cord.

"I swear, man, you're cursed," Haldir said as the students walked off, leaving the twi teachers to weep about their stolen cars.

**A/N: **That was short, lol. Just a short lil' thing to help the story along. Hmmm, football is coming up next chapter! I need ideas for the mascots! MEH will be playing MHS (Mordor High School), so any ideas will be great! I was thinking of the Eagles and the Wargs, but what about all you readers think? Ah yeah, thanks to **X-EvEnStAr-X** and **InterLinea **for the ideas about the Legolas/Gimli contest and Gollum escaping…again. Love yall! Anyways, reviews, reviews, let's see…

**Countess Jackman- **Thanks! By the way, Éowyn and Aragorn. I still dislike Arwen, but what about Faramir? Ah well, doesn't always have to be canon, lol.

**mz-turner- **Yes… Legolas is cute… ALRIGHT! Anyways, sorry this Chapter 14 was so overdue, I kept meaning to work on it… Well, here's another chapter!

**Princess Rue of Mirkwood- **(to all the reviews!) Thanks! I'm so glad I don't focus on one or two characters much. Unless listed as such, that can get very annoying. Thanks for putting me on your faves! BTW, you went shopping in Athens? I want to go to Athens!

**One Feather- **Yay! Well, what did you expect, Gollum to be on the football team? Just kidding, I can just see him sitting there, typing away…

**Faerlas- **Thanks! I was watching TTT and thought, "Hey! I could use this!" Glad you liked!

**Person- **Well, here you go!

**empath89- **Thank you! Here's an update!

**quillian91- **Yay! Gollum is funny… Thanks for the idea! Seems like everyone wants bad things to happen to Gimli during football…

**Eleniel of the Stars- **It would see like Éowyn, no? Here's another chappie!

**Dramatica- (to all!) **Thanks! I agree, LOTR was such a good book. I took a while to read… but still! Ah yes, we did have to dissect the froggies. It was… interesting. That's all I'm sayin'…

**kingmaker- **Thank you for the compliments! Glad you liked the movie dialogue; I think it worked well. LOL, Legolas seems like the Alex Sanchez user mold. Well, Gimli would probably say the same about Legolas. Anywho, thanks for reviewing!


	16. The Big Game

**Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High **

**Summary:** Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

**Disclaimer:** A random fact: There is such thing as fried cheese. I want to try it. Sounds interesting, but anyways, I don't own LOTR, only the plot of this story!

**Chapter 16- The Big Game **

It was a few weeks later, and nothing relatively odd had happened, besides Pippin's mix-up with the rotten broccoli while on cafeteria duty, in which he gave everyone food poisoning. He and Merry were banned from cafeteria duty after that, by unanimous vote by the students, and, well, further detail won't be provided.

And so, finally, it was time for the big game, the first of the football season, between Middle Earth High and Mordor High School. The rivalry between the schools had existed for years upon years, probably since resulting from a former incident MHS principal Sauron and the former MEH principal, Isildur of Gondor. Something involving a Ring or something; none of the students really knew what had happened.

That day, Arwen came to school with a big box in her arms. She ran up to Lothíriel. "Our uniforms are here!" she squealed in delight.

Éowyn and Goldberry looked at each other and gulped. "Uniforms?" asked Éowyn.

"Of course!" Arwen said. "You didn't think you'd wear _those_ clothes, did you?"

Éowyn looked down at her t-shirt. "What's wrong with my clothes?" she asked.

"Welllllllllllll, um… just take your uniform!" Arwen said quickly said as she threw the box at Éowyn, the uniforms flying everywhere.

Éowyn picked up one of the gold and black uniforms, holding it out in front of her like it was toxic waste. _It's only for a few days_, she thought to herself as the bell rang, _only a few days… _

&

The time had come. It was here. The game… the cheerleaders, the yelling, the field, the

"POPCORN!" Pippin yelled. "POPCOOOOORN!"

All of the Middle Earth High students, teachers, and viewers were sitting in the bleachers on one side of the field while those from Mordor High School were on the other side. Selling popcorn to Mordorian spectators, Pippin suddenly found himself face to face with an Uruk-Hai.

"Gaaaaaaaah!" Pippin shouted as he jumped back, spilling a bag of popcorn all over the Uruk. "Oops, he he," Pip chuckled as he backed away and suddenly took off to hide behind Gandalf.

"Done selling popcorn?" Gandalf asked the Hobbit.

"Umm, yes…" Pippin said as he sat down to watch the game.

Meanwhile, Denethor cheered on his firstborn from the teacher seats. "Go Boromir! GO SON!"

"What about Faramir?" Théoden, sitting next to Denethor, asked.

"Who?"

&

Éowyn, Lothíriel, Arwen, Goldberry, and Rosie were busy doing their routine. And Thranduil and Celeborn were trying to motivate the MEH team, the Eagles, but to no avail.

"So go out there and win one for MEH!" Thranduil said enthusiastically, receiving blank stares. "Um, Aragorn," he whispered, "now would be a good time for one your motivational speeches…"

"Ohhhhh." Aragorn nodded. "Alright." He began pacing back and forth. "Sons of Gondor, of Rohan! My brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come, when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of Fellowship, but it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you, stand, Men of the West… and East!"

He had been so absorbed in his speech that he'd not noticed that the whole crowd had become silent and had been listening to his speech. At the last word, a deafening cheer erupted from the Middle Earth side of the stadium, and Aragorn took a bow for his speech.

"Let's play some football!" Éomer yelled as the team ran out onto the field.

"The Eagles are coming!" Pippin said enthusiastically.

The team faced a team of Orcs, Goblins, and Uruk-Hai, but nothing could stop them now. Mordor started with offense. "HIKE!" an Uruk quarterback shouted in the Black Speech. The game had begun.

& Two quarters of the game later…

It was half time, and Mordor was leading 20-0 with 2 touchdowns and 2 field goals. Middle Earth was most definitely going to suffer a defeat. The team was in the locker room discussing matters while the MEH cheerleaders competed with Mordorian cheerleaders (more need be said?) and Gollum was tortured by having to wear the mascot costume.

"They've obviously stepped up their defense and offense," Faramir said.

"No duh," Aragorn replied. "Wait… did I just say 'no duh'?"

"Yep!" Faramir yelled. "You said a preppy phrase! I knew it! I knew it all along! I _told_ you you've been spending too much time with Arwen!"

"People, people, concentrate!" Celeborn shouted.

"We need a new quarterback," Éomer said bluntly.

"EXCUSE ME!" Haldir, the current quarterback, exclaimed.

"Well, it's not like you're getting anything, according to the scoreboard!" Éomer replied.

"Do you wanna take this outside?" Haldir yelled.

"Bring it on, ELF!" Éomer yelled back, causing all the Elves and Men to start fighting amongst themselves (think of the Council of Elrond in FOTR).

Suddenly, Galadriel stormed in, and all was quiet. She started to talk. "My cheerleaders are getting tired, so you team members had better get yourselves together and stop bickering NOW!" With that she turned and walked out of the room, leaving the players speechless.

Haldir quietly said, "Legolas can be quarterback," giving up his argument.

"Good! Thranduil said and the team got their helmets back on and ready for the game. The team jogged back onto the field, and were about to take positions when Boromir suddenly asked, "Where's Legolas?"

Everyone began looking around for the elf. Éowyn, coming back from doing the routine, said, "He's probably back in the locker room. I'll go get him." Thranduil gave her the key and she ran off to open the door.

She stepped into the locker room to see no sign of Legolas. "Legolas?" she called. "Are you here?"

Little did Éowyn know that Legolas was on the other side of the locker room. While the team had been conversing in the locker room, Legolas had been filling his water bottle. Having spilled it all over himself the first time 'round, it took another try to fill the bottle when then he had to wipe off his uniform with a towel. By then, the team was already out of the locker room. Thinking that his fellow peers had abandoned him… again, he was looking for a way out, therefore not hearing Éowyn's calls.

"Legolas?" she asked again. "Where could he be?" she thought to herself.

Suddenly, Éowyn saw on the bench an extra uniform, laying idle for this game. She got an idea and quickly followed through with it…

&

Éowyn ran onto the field. Only, no one knew it was her, because of the football garb she sported. Her blonde hair resembling that of Legolas' spilled out the back of the helmet. Strangely enough, she was never noticed missing throughout the entire game.

She took Legolas' place as quarterback. Haldir hiked the ball to her, and she threw a perfect pass to Elladan, the wide receiver, and he passed the ball to Elrohir, the tight end, and he scored in the end zone.

Astonished, a huge cheer came from MEH fans as Mordorians looked on in disbelief. A touchdown in only one play? Incredible!

The game continued. Touchdowns, field goals, Éowyn could get them all. And soon, the score was close with 30-27, even close enough to win. However, Mordor just substituted in new players, and their defense would be nearly impenetrable, plus they were in the lead. And the clock: 30 seconds.

After 3 downs, MEH had only moved the ball eight out of ten yards, and were only on Mordor's 40 yard line. "TEAM CONFERENCE!" yelled Aragorn.

"Should we punt the ball and turn the offense over to Mordor, or try for 2 more yards?" he asked his teammates.

"There are 30 seconds on the clock," said Faramir. "If we punt it and give the offense to Mordor, they'll keep it and use up the clock to win."

Boromir agreed. "I say we go for two more yards."

"Alright," Aragorn said. "We'll go for the two yards. Anyone else got anything to say? Théodred? Legolas?" he asked.

Éowyn, thinking that she would be found out, just shook her head no.

Aragorn thought nothing of it. "123, BREAK!" the team yelled and they all took their places…

&

Haldir knew it was his time to go. He had waited all this time, and it was finally his moment. Everyone was watching him. It happened quickly. The Orcs crowded around him, but, despite the struggle…

He grabbed the ball and dove for the 50 yard line and made ten yards! The crowd erupted. The Mordorian team gathered to discuss matters. The team crowded around Haldir.

From the dive he had made for the line, his uniform was stained with dirt and grass, and his long Elvish hair was messed up and tangled. Not to mention the awkward position he was in. One arm was outstretched holding the football, while the other was up against his stomach, leaving him winded for a few seconds. However, despite the Aragorn's protests, he got back up and wanted to keep playing.

"But are you sure, Haldir! Please, if you can't play…"

"No Aragorn, I'm fine."

"But Haldir, I don't want you to get hurt or anything, and besides, we can probably still make the play. I mean, Boromir can play center, though, he almost knocked Legolas out last time he played it, but still-"

"Aragorn! For Elbereth's sake, just let me play!"

"Ok, ok, gosh!"

&

The clock read 20 seconds. The teams lined up at their places. Suddenly, Haldir hiked the ball to Éowyn, and she saw a clear path to the end zone. It was risky, but her split second decision was to try. She sprinted toward the goal line, Orcs falling behind in her path as they tried to tackle her. She kept running and, nearing the goal line, took the ball by both hands. As an Orc went to tackle her, she slid under his outstretched hands into the end zone for a touchdown. The buzzer sounded, and MEH had won!

The cheers were deafening as the whole team and the cheerleaders went to congratulate Legolas while Mordor stalked off after their loss. One can imagine the surprise, however, when Éowyn pulled off the helmet to reveal herself. The team stopped short. "ÉOWYN?" they all asked in surprise.

"That's the name," she said, watching their surprised looks.

"Wow," Faramir said. "And here I was thinking you were Legolas the whole time!"

"Yeah, where is Legolas anyways?" Goldberry asked.

"Who cares? PARTY AT OUR PLACE!" Elladan shouted as the whole company left cheering. Except…

&Unheard in the locker room…

"HELLO? PEOPLE! I'm still here! Let me out! Please let me out! Come on! ALRIGHT THE ROPE WAS FUNNY, BUT THIS ISN'T FUNNY, YOU GUYS! I KNOW YOU"RE THERE! LET ME OUTTA HERE!"

**A/N: **That was hard, describing a football game. Sorry about the delay, I was kinda dreading this chapter. If I did something wrong, tell me in a review, but please don't go all crazy about it. Also, thanks to reviewers **kingmaker** and **LATMC** for ideas. **Amalita**- sorry I didn't put your idea in, but it really didn't fit anywhere, as I didn't describe much of the actual playing. Hope that's okay!

BY THE WAY. 100! Actually, (as Bilbo would say it) ELEVENTY-FIVE! YES! I love you all! Congrats to **Norma Jean the Dancing Machine**, the 100th reviewer.

Not much else to say except that my school's out (about time!) and so I'll probably be able to get chapters up more frequently. Maybe even begin again on my old POTC story, Before It All Began. Hmmmmmmm…… the possibilities are endless. Well, going to get write some more (next chapter there shall be a fire drill, I believe) so check back soon!

Alright, the reviews were basically the same, so I'd just like to say thanks a bunch to:

**Countess Jackman, Dramatica666, Norma Jean the Dancing Machine, Eleniel of the Stars, Faerlas, Primavera Took, Elven Dragon Rider, Frodo Fangirl, Amalita, One Feather, kingmaker, espergirl04, Alex Hemming LATMC, mz-turner, and empath89. **

And by the way, to** Nathalia Potter**- Yes, of course, Peredhil, um… Just kidding. I have been informed that it actually means Arwen. I'll probably go back and change it later. Thanx!

Jeez, 6 pages! I guess that makes up for Ch. 15's shortness!


	17. Fool of a Took!

**Lord of the Rings: Middle Earth High **

**Summary:** Merry and Pippin troublemakers, Aragorn and Arwen going to the prom, Legolas, Faramir and Éowyn in drama club, Boromir and Éomer football players, and Gandalf a science teacher? It's Middle Earth High, of course!

**Disclaimer:** All I'm doing is borrowing the characters, playing with them a bit, and then putting them back. Maybe…

**Chapter 17- Fool of a Took! **

The victory had been well celebrated with a party the night after the victory. Said party involved much dancing, music, drunken hobbits, and several pizzas ordered to Imladris. The festivities, sadly, ended with students jumping out the window at sight of a parental figure. Pippin and Merry, totally drunk, were more falling out the window, when Elrond pulled up in his Ferrari, returning from his karaoke night with Thranduil.

However, the author digresses.

It was 5th period, and English class with Denethor. As usual, he was busy lecturing and all the students were busy doing whatever activities kept them occupied during that class.

Suddenly, Merry got an idea. He scrawled a short note on a piece of paper and folded an airplane from it. "To Pippin," he wrote on one of the wings and sent it off to Pippin's desk.

Pippin quickly unfolded the note to reveal the message: "Hey Pip—wanna see who can make Denethor die first?"

Pippin immediately wrote a response. "Loser does part of winner's Elvish report?"

"Fair is fair," replied Merry.

"Then BRING IT ON!" challenged Pippin.

He raised his hand. "Excuse me! Excuse me! I was wondering," he said, standing up. "If x equals six and x is the square root of y, and y plus x times two equals z, then what is the value of z?"

"What? This isn't math class!" Denethor exclaimed.

"If x is six, and the z is y plus x times two, and- oh, I'm lost!" Sam said sadly.

"Where's Pippin and what have you done with him?" Faramir joked, as everyone just stared and wondered how Pippin could have asked such a complicated question.

"Never mind! Pippin, take your seat! I will have no more of such interruptions," Denethor said and he continued his lecture.

Merry raised his hand. "Denethor, sir?" he asked. "Can I go to the bathroom?"

"No," Denethor replied flatly.

"But I _really_ gotta go," Merry said.

"How do I know that you're not going to just skip class or smuggle drugs onto campus or something?" he asked. Under his breath Denethor muttered, "I wish I could retire…"

"Skip class? I only do that on Tuesd- I mean… please?"

"No."

"_PLEASE?_" Merry looked up at his teacher with puppy-dog eyes. "PleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasePLEASE?

"ALRIGHT, FINE!" Denethor surrendered as Merry ran out of the room and slammed the door, with just enough time in the middle to cast a smirk in Pippin's direction.

A while later, Merry was still gone, and Pippin was still trying to win the so-called contest. He was fishing around in his pockets, looking for something remotely interesting to use, when he conveniently pulled out stick of bubble gum. Getting yet another idea, he popped the gum into his mouth, and started chewing. No, not chewing, popping.

A battle began between teacher and student, each trying to speak or chew louder than the other.

"AND THE PAST TENSE OF THE WORD WOULD BE-" Denethor was screaming when Pippin burst a particularly large bubble of gum with a loud POP.

Suddenly, Merry burst into the room and slammed the door. "What'd I miss?" he said coolly as he strode into the room, taking the long way to his seat.

And that was the straw that broke the camel's back. "That's it! I'm tired these interruptions and this nonsense!" Denethor yelled.

"What interruptions? We've all been sitting here doing nothing for the past hour!" Pippin exclaimed.

"PIPPIN!" every student yelled, because Pippin had just revealed that they never listened to Denethor's lectures.

"You were what? I knew you never listened!" Denethor exclaimed. "And it shows from your dismal test scores," he muttered. "You kids need some disciplining! Pippin, go press that black button on the wall there! I'm calling Gandalf!" Pippin, upon hearing the command, got up, went to the wall and pressed…

The red fire drill button. Immediately, the fire alarm went of, a loud RING resounding throughout the school, most unfortunately for Aragorn, who sat right by the bell.

Pippin smirked. "I win," he bluntly stated.

"Abandon your posts! Run, run for your lives!" Denethor shouted.

"What?" the students replied in unison.

"It's a fire drill, go out to the field!" Éowyn said, giving out the clearer directions. Upon hearing this everyone ran to the door, trying to get out of the classroom. They burst through the door, and then, proceeded onto the front door, from which they rushed out onto the field. But, it being mid-December, the students, cold and jacketless, immediately wished they were back inside the heated school building.

"Back inside, back inside!" Aragorn instructed, turning on his heel. Led by Aragorn, the crowd of students sped back towards the door. Once there, Aragorn immediately tried to open the door to find that… it was locked. Unfortunately, there were about 15 other students rushing at him, instantly pushing him smack into the door.

"It's LOCKED!" Pippin screamed in panic.

"NO DUH!" Merry screamed back, equally loud.

"YOU two!" Arwen yelled, pointing at the two hobbits.

"This is ALL your fault!" Aragorn added shamefully.

"US!" Merry and Pippin cried. "It was HER that told everyone to go outside!"

"Say WHAT!" Éowyn exclaimed. "How can you blame this on ME!"

Suddenly, the students forgot all about the bitter weather and focused more on whose fault it was that they were in it. Everyone erupted and started shouting. The yells, blames, and insults flew back and forth like food in the cafeteria many weeks before, and the fire bell still ringing only added to the din. Finally, Faramir came to his senses and yelled "QUIET!" Everyone shut up very quickly and looked up expectantly at him.

"Now," he began calmly, "we're getting nowhere yelling at each other. No matter how loud we are, the cold will not go away."

"Um, we're not in first grade, Faramir," Aragorn retorted.

"Alright, then, what do _you_ propose we do?" Faramir asked him.

Aragorn thought for a moment. "You know…" he finally said to everyone, "we could just, y'know, go home," he suggested.

"You know," Haldir said, "that is not such a bad idea."

"I mean, if they're going to just leave us here…" Frodo began.

"Then why not just leave?" Legolas finished. Everyone enthusiastically nodded and there came a chorus of "yeah" and "let's go!"

Just as everyone was about to start off, the Witch King spoke up. "But what if we get… caught?" he asked meekly. Suddenly trying to save face, he followed his statement up by coolly saying, "And, y'know, all our stuff's still inside."

"Who cares!" Elladan said nonchalantly over his shoulder. Everyone agreed, and started off a second time, when suddenly the fire alarm stopped and Gandalf angrily burst through the doors.

"FOOL OF A TOOK!" Gandalf shouted at Pippin. He picked up the hobbit up by his shirt, bringing him to eye level. "Do you _know_ what you've just done?"

"Well…" Pippin started, looking for a clever way out. He squirmed around in his shirt, obviously uncomfortable at being suspended in midair. Gandalf didn't seem to notice. "You see, Gandalf… SIR!… Denethor's class… it's really boring… and…"

"I don't care if he beats you with a stick in that class! You pulled the fire alarm, and that is bad," Gandalf finished.

"Oh," Pippin replied, not really listening but still struggling in Gandalf's grasp. He was suddenly dropped, but the wizard still menacingly glared at him. These were the times when Pippin wished he was taller.

Gandalf continued. "We've been trying to get the fire alarm off for ten minutes, and it could take ALL DAY to get the bell system back into working order!" This last point was emphasized by a particularly loud blast from the outside speakers. "And meanwhile," he gestured to all the students, "have been planning to, to… skip school!" He sighed and looked to Merry and Pippin, who were now cowering in fright behind Boromir. "You two," he said to them, "will be staying here until the bell system is fixed…or longer. The rest of you," he said to the other students, "can go. School is dismissed."

Each student emitted a small "yes!" under their breath as they all watched Gandalf, Merry, and Pippin trudge back into the school. As soon as the door clicked closed behind the three, they all whole-heartedly yelled "YES!" and laughed and chattered, with a whole day of nothing to do. As the crowd took off, only the Witch King looked back at the school reluctantly, then he proceeded to follow the group out of the parking lot.

**A/N:** Yesterday was this story's 1 year anniversary! (Wipes away tear) I'd like to thank everyone who's put in something to this story, a review, a suggestion… You've been great! (Wipes another tear) I'd especially like to thank my bff Ylime, whose provided support and encouraging words (Ex. "If you don't continue, your ass is mine!") Thanks Ylime! Ok, now that my Oscar speech is over, I have a lot of credits to give. Denethor wishing to retire was suggested to me be **the7bells**. When the fire bell goes off, Denethor shouting "Abandon your posts! Run, run for your lives!" was submitted by **Lady-Eliwen**. And my friend **Lady Varda** owns the upcoming phrase "purple gerbils."

And, of course, thanks to:

**Countess Jackman, Thrae Elddim, Norma Jean…, One Feather, Faerlas, empath89, kingmaker, Amalita, LATMC, Hypolitian Warrior, catwraith, Primavera Took, daydreambeelievr, InterLinea, Rana Ninque, NicNac-Farwyn, Alex Hemming, Legolas fan, Evenstar and Elessar, tiz02uk, ElvenRyder, person, mz-turner, and Fiona McKinnon. **

And now, time for a special segment: MATH WITH BILBO! And you'd better thank me for doing that math, as it's my least favorite of all subjects!

**Bilbo**: Good morning, students. Now today we are going to be learning about algebra!

**Students**: (All groan)

**Bilbo**: Now, Pippin, repeat your question.

**Pippin**: What question?

**Bilbo**: What do you mean "what question?"

**Pippin**: Oh, _that_ question. If x equals six and x is the square root of y, and y plus x times two equals z, then what is the value of z?

**Bilbo**: Alright. Now, the first variable is x, which we know equals six. Now, our ultimate goal is to figure out the value of z. But to get to that, first we must find the value of y, because, y plus x times two equals three…

**Aragorn**: (whispers to Faramir) I swing a sword, I shoot arrows, I ride horses. But I do NOT do algebra. (Lays head on desk to sleep)

**Bilbo**: …so basically your work should look like this:

(On the board:)

x6

z?

yx2

y+x(2)z

y62

(62+6)(2)z

(36+6)(2)z

42(2)z

**Bilbo**: And so, Aragorn, can you tell me what the value of z is?

**Aragorn**: (startled out of a daydream) WHAT? PURPLE GERBILS!

**Bilbo**: (sighs) Aragorn, I should've known not to call on you. Anyone else know the answer? Éowyn?

**Éowyn**: No.

**Bilbo**: Boromir? Faramir?

**Both**: Don't look at us!

**Bilbo**: Anyone?

**All Students**: NOPE!

**Witch King**: (very annoyed) GOSH! HOW STUPID ARE YOU PEOPLE! THE ANSWER'S 84! 84! 8 tens, 4 ones! E-I-G-H-T-Y F-O-U-R! 84! AAAAH! (storms out of room)

**Haldir**: Well, some geek woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

**Witch King**: (from outside) I_ HEARD _THAT! (mutters) stupid, air headed freaks…


End file.
